Men Speak: What we find most attractive in women

WHETHER we do it consciously or not, we put ourselves together before we leave home so that we can be seen as attractive, not just to ourselves and our peers, but also to complete strangers, including members of the opposite sex.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and women are constantly in the male gaze. We feed our minds and mind our looks so that when we walk into a room and speak, we know that we are putting the best versions of ourselves on display.

But what do men really consider to be women’s most attractive characteristics? Is it something about your physical appearance, your intelligence, or a mixture of both?

While the beauty versus brains debate rages on, we asked a handful of men to tell us what they find most attractive in women. Here’s what they told us:

Mark, 46, engineer:

I should be able to tell that you are a woman from behind. So I love when women are voluptuous and they dress like women. Not too revealing. Show just enough that I can imagine the rest. They don’t have to bother with the heap of false hair and nails and all of that, but I don’t like women with bald heads. It just doesn’t look very feminine to me.

Davion, 38, sales manager:

No matter how a woman looks, her confidence and intelligence will always be the most attractive part of her to me. I like when a woman is aware of her feminine power and knows how to use it to her advantage. The ‘do you think I’m pretty?’ thing is for little girls who don’t know themselves.

Rolando, 21, computer scientist:

I like when a woman is easy on the eyes, has an interesting personality, and common sense. She must also have a good sense of humour because I love to joke around.

Jordan, 25, medical student:

A lot of men will say they prefer brains over beauty, but they’re just simping. How will you get to know what her brain is like if nothing attracts you to her to begin talking? I like when women put themselves together well. Whether natural or false hair, as long as it suits them and it looks good, and they are neat and tidy, and smell good... that’s attractive to me.

Mikael, 32, musician:

What I find most attractive in a woman is her smile and her ability to keep composed under pressure. All the women in my life, from my mother to my female friends and relatives to my wife, have a certain strength and grit that I have to admire about them. Sometimes I get stressed about certain financial problems, but my wife always knows how to make things work.

Sam, 28, accountant:

I admire women who are confident and carry themself like a valuable prize. What I find unattractive is when they are snobbish and act like they are better than everyone else, or when they are generally foul-mouthed and have nothing pleasant or substantial to contribute to discussions.

screened for STDS at the start of the relationship, then the risk is very low,” he said. “But bear in mind that once one or both persons step out of that, your risk of contracting a disease is the same as those with multiple partners.”

Healthier habits

“Being married also means you have someone looking out for you and reinforcing healthy behaviours,” says Michael Rendall, director of the Maryland Population Research Center. This is perhaps why unhealthy habits such as smoking and drinking tend to be less among men in committed unions globally. In Canada, for example, studies show that married men smoke 10 per cent less than single men. Research also shows that rates of diabetes, Alzheimer’s, lung disease, and other chronic ailments are lower in married people than in unmarried people.

Less stressful family structure

As you can imagine ‘one burners’ do not run the risk of having children outside the home. This sets them up for a smoother parenting experience. “So when it comes to raising your family, for example, you don’t have to worry about child sharing and maintenance and so on,” Diedrick explained. “And in terms of best practices for parenting, having mom and dad co-existing in the same space and imparting knowledge and values, that also goes a long way.”