What does a great partner for your children look like?

WHEN you were choosing your own life partner, there would have been some standards you wouldn’t have compromised on. But long before that, in the dating phase, what kind of partners did you choose, and what was the reaction of your family and friends? Did you always choose wisely, or was it touch and go, a battle of wills between what your heart said, and what those with more experience and more wisdom said would happen?

If you think back on your very first love, the one you thought you’d be with forever, does that person possess the same character traits as the one you eventually settled with? That said, if your children were to, and have been choosing partners, how do you react? Do you allow them to make their own choices, and then make their own mistakes? Or do you steadfastly guide them towards the kind or perfect that you eventually found? What does a great partner for your children look like?

Marjorie, mother of a 19-year-old: That partner looks nothing like

AW: RELATIONSHIPS

my ex-husband — not selfish, self-centred or miserly. I know girls choose men who are like their fathers, but in this instance I pray and hope that my daughter doesn’t make the same choices I did. A great partner for her, to me, would be a Christian man, a leader, who worships the ground she walks on.

Timothy, father of a 14-year-old: No boy who wears earrings, with his pants waist at his butt, who smokes, and who listens to garbage music can set foot in my yard. I’ve already warned her about bringing anybody like that home. He has to be God-fearing, respectful and ambitious.

Louis, father of a 16-year-old:

A good partner for my son will be a girl who values herself, and has Christ at the centre of her life. He should be with someone who is like my wife — wise, generous with her time and affection, obedient, knowledgeable about her role in the family, and respectful.

Melody, mother of a 23-year-old: Someone who can help her financially — who can provide — is ideal. I won’t even say someone who is faithful, because faithfulness is mystical. As long as he is a provider, respects her, and will honour her, he has my vote.

Nadya, mother of a 13-year-old:

I hope my son learns how to respect women, so that whatever woman chooses him, she will be valued. It’s not so much for me about what kind of woman I want for him, because I believe that if he is a good man, he will attract likewise. So I’m training him to be a gentleman, and he will attract a lady when he’s older.

Robin, mother of a 26-year-old: My daughter has made some mistakes in her life, so right now I’d say I’d like someone for her who is good with children, who will love her despite the fact that she has been through a lot with other men, and who will help her grow. Good men are out there, and I hope one finds his way to her soon.