The biggest lessons we learned about relationships in 2020
THE impact of COVID-19 has been far-reaching —job losses in the millions, the medical health systems, even in First World countries, crumbling, and there has been gloom and doom everywhere. Relationships, unfortunately, were not spared, with global reports suggesting an uptick in divorce cases shortly after the lockdown and work-from-home policies were put in place. Did your relationship survive the rigours of 2020? What was your most important takeaway? Will you carry these lessons into 2021?
While you think about these, check out at some of the biggest relationship lessons some of our readers shared that they have learned this year.
Louisa, 31, immigration officer:
This year I learnt a lot of critical lessons. For one, I learnt the importance of patience — not all the stories I generate in my head are true and I just need to chill. I also learnt to be selfless. Your partner will go through things too, and we have to understand that their mood isn’t always a reflection of what they feel about us and it’s not selfish of them. They are human and they have that right. So now I will say respect individual space; it’s very important because it will determine the quality partner you get to experience.
Leonie, 38, police officer:
I have learned that it doesn’t matter how good of a person you are, faithful and all that good stuff, selfish partners will still do you wrong just to satisfy their selfish egos. It has also taught me to love myself fully, so that’s a plus.
Patrice, 29, beautician:
I have learnt that space is GOLDEN! I have learnt to appreciate the time spent apart. The songwriter’s line... “Even lovers’ need some time away from each other” is appropriate for these times. I love my man and all, but I honestly don’t want to be in the same space with him 24 hours per day, seven days of the week. In the beginning it was fine with both of us working from home, but as time dragged on I realised just how great it felt being able to enjoy my own company and that of others in his absence.
Lisette, 43, grocer:
This year I lost my partner and I am hurting because we spent the last couple of days before his death bickering. When I think back, I know we should have focused more on cherishing the good in each other and also taking responsibility for not just our actions, but our thoughts and feelings. We need to put ego aside in relationships because it’s a thief of joy.
Michael, 48, entrepreneur:
What I learnt this year is to manage my expectations and even more so, never to project them on to anyone else but myself. Expecting is the surest formula for disappointment. The fact is that things at times can take an unprecedented turn for the good or bad so when you maintain an open mind, chances are things will work out better for you.
Melissa, 30, guidance counsellor:
This year’s biggest lesson is the importance of “patience” and it’s extremely valuable because at one point I felt like it was almost okay to go to prison. Also, what also stood out is that in all the madness and chaos happening, the difficult conversations were important to have even now more than ever.
Deidre, 33, accountant:
I learnt that it wasn’t worth it a being side chick — even if another woman had similarly entered my life and stolen my baby daddy. I broke things off because the pandemic showed me where his priorities were. I needed to choose myself so that I can heal and grow and be better for the man that I have prayed for.