When last you see the man in the moon?
Iwas taking a nap on a lazy Sunday afternoon when the telephone rang. It was a Sunday school ‘graduate’ who wanted to come by to say hello. Hadn’t seen him for some time since he went to Kingston for university and was eager to hear how he was getting on, and to hear news of relatives in town.
We greeted each other at the door and exchanged the usual pleasantries. He took a seat on the couch and I continued the conversation, now one-sided, asking him about parents, church going, and his university online classes. For a while he answered in monosyllables until I fell silent. Apparently satisfied with the length of the conversation, he then took out his phone and assumed the official cell posture — a half crouch forward, the phone in both hands, and an intent stare while he fiddled with the screen images. This went on for about 10 minutes, with me totally out of the picture.
At one stage I offered a drink and a snack, but by now he was so wrapped up in himself that refreshment seemed neither here nor there. I wouldn’t give up. I shot one at him about a girlfriend. No answer. I tried a shocker. “I have COVID19. Where is your mask?” He smiled and absent-mindedly took a crumpled mask out his pocket and fitted it unto his face, while giving me a sympathetic but unbelieving look. After five more minutes I gave up and left my guest on his phone.
Ten minutes later I went back into the living room and he was still absorbed in his game show. Well, if you can’t beat them join them. And so, for the next 20 minutes both of us sat across from each other, with me trying unsuccessfully to get into the cell crouch position, and the silence broken only by occasional, “wha dis”, “go deh”, and so forth from my visitor’s chair. Not even my wife calling to ask if we were all right out there could distract my young friend’s attention from his gadget.
A half an hour passed and he finally broke loose from his cellular world, stood up, and thanked me for the hospitality.
“It was a pleasure,” I said, “come back any time.” I meant it, because he is always welcome at the house.
I escorted him to the door with both of us insisting that we enjoyed the visit, had a nice chat, was good talking to you, and wished our families well.
“Who was that, dear?” my wife asked.
“Oh nobody,” I replied. So ended another chapter in the unfolding, relentless shutdown of social interaction, face-toface conversation, keeping in touch with neighbours, and the informal rap sessions that generate positive relationships with families and friends.
My young friend’s telephone behaviour — and mine as well — is not unique. Statistics say that the average smartphone owner unlocks his or her phone 150 times per day. This tells how much mobile phones have become a part of our lives. It is noticeable, particularly in the 18-25 years age group. Notice for yourself how teens tend to sit around in silence, staring at their smartphones for extended periods when they are together with friends.
I hasten to point out that this behaviour is not confined to the 18-25-year-old group. It has moved right across the spectrum of societies and affects different age groups, including my own, which, if you haven’t already guessed, is long past the 25-year-old category.
Today more and more people are relying on their smartphones for connection with others. It is estimated that over 3.5 billion people worldwide are smartphone users. And long gone are the days when telephones were used just for talking. Now it’s a source of information and research that boggles the imagination. At the same time, it can also be dangerous when it becomes an addiction. Smartphone Addiction Statistics report that 66 per cent of people are addicted to their mobile phones.
When I read that it sent me running to the medical journals dealing with addiction. I scrolled down the pages (Yes, I confess, I was using my smartphone) and came up with this self-test, which I would like to share with readers. It scared me a bit because I found myself answering ‘yes’ to quite a number of the questions.
In your own interest have a go and fill in your own answers:
1) Do you find yourself spending more time on your smartphone than you realise?
2) Do you find yourself mindlessly passing time on a regular basis by staring at your smartphone even though there might be better or more productive things to do?
3) Do you find yourself spending more time texting, tweeting, or e-mailing as opposed to talking to real-time people?
4) Has the amount of time you spend on your cellphone been increasing?
5) Do you sleep with your smartphone on or under your pillow or next to your bed regularly?
6) Do you find yourself viewing and answering texts, tweets, and e-mail at all hours of the day and night, even when it means interrupting other things you are doing?
7) When you leave the house, you always have your smartphone with you and you feel ill at ease or uncomfortable when you accidentally leave your smartphone in the car or at home, or you have no service, or it is broken?
8) When you eat meals, is your cellphone always part of the table place setting?
9) When your phone rings, beeps, buzzes, do you feel an intense urge to check for texts, tweets, or e-mail, updates, etc?
10) Do you find yourself mindlessly checking your phone many times a day even when you know there is likely nothing new or important to see?
If your answers suggest making a visit to the psychiatrist then you should be looking around for a way to break your cellphone habits. I am not suggesting that you can, or should, throw away your phone. If you do, your boss will probably send you to the doctor, but for other reasons.
When used as a collection of tools to improve your work, health, and lifestyle, cellphones are wonderful and bring countless benefits. But when used mindlessly and unintentionally, they become a distraction from the things in life that matter most.
Start toning down the games and social media apps with hands-on, real-world activities, like meeting with friends, revising your Sunday afternoon visiting protocol, and creating hobbies that feed your soul.
Step outside and look at nature. Nature has no telephone. Search the skies and look at the stars. They have been set in place and looking at us for millions of years, remaining puzzled, but unperturbed by our behaviour while we hustle madly in a bid to change around God’s world. And, have some fun with your children as you try to explain that celestial apparition on the lunar surface that we see with each turn of the full moon.
In earlier generations children would stare fascinated at what we were told was a man in the moon; a human face smiling down at us from the night sky. The face, of course, is just an illusion, shaped by splashes of volcanic lava on the lunar plains.
Like a loyal friend, the man is always there, but come to think of it, I haven’t seen him for years, at least not since Neil Armstrong became the first real man to set foot on the moon.
So when last you see the man in the moon? Take a break from your smartphone tonight and go have some fun searching for an old-time friend.
Lance Neita is a public relations professional and author. Send comments to the Jamaica Observer or lanceneita@hotmail.com.