Let’s Chill... Mama

Stressed? Well, if your answer is yes or will be…you’re not alone. Mothering is incredibly stressful and maybe far more stressful than the time your mom was actively mothering.

Stress is everything from financial insecurities, high expectations for your child’s success to a lack of support, time famine, relationship demands and concern that the world is more perilous for child raring. But more significant than the cause is the way unchecked stress can hurt mom’s health and their family’s well-being. It is said that chronically stressed moms tend to be more insensitive to children. Studies also show that a parent’s ability to manage stress is a strong predictor of the quality of her relationship with her children and how happy her children are. Here are a few “Chill-out” tips!

What are your stress signs? Do you know them?

Learning to identify how you react to stress will help you curb your overload mode. Common stress signs include: rising blood pressure or spiked heart rate (which can make you feel a little dizzy), shouting, irritability, more impatient or experiencing lapses in judgment. Imagine how those behaviours affect your children. Tune in to your body until you identify your warning signs.

It’s important to just take a “stress break” You may not be able to avoid all the stress, but you can get away for just a few minutes to feel less overwhelmed. Giving yourself permission to take a brief “stress break” is often enough to decompress or just give a new perspective. How about taking a Mommy Time Out? Put up a “do not disturb” sign on your bedroom door. Listen to relaxing music or plant a picture in your mind of a soothing place. It can’t be stressed enough, take five minutes to decompress.

Create solutions for your “on-fire” moments Stress mounts for moms at predictable times, such as in the morning when everyone is rushing to get out the door.

Identify when you are most irritable and find a simple way to curb the friction during that “onfire” moment. For instance: If mornings are stressful because your child can’t decide (or find) what to wear, lay clothes out the night before. If your car pool is frantic because you can’t find your keys, make an extra set.

Learn deep breathing or meditation…

whoo saaa!!! Deep abdominal breathing, meditation and prayer are proven to help moderate stress and help the body relax. What is also good is that you can also teach this tension-relieving strategy to your children! How to start:

Use slow, deep breaths. Inhale slowly to a count of five, pause for two counts, and then slowly breathe out the same way, again counting to five. Repeating the sequence creates maximum relaxation.

Try elevator breathing. Close your eyes, slowly breathe out three times, then imagine you’re in an elevator on the top of a very tall building. Press the button for the first floor and watch the buttons for each level slowly light up as the elevator goes down. As the elevator descends, your stress fades away.

Exercise together

Exercise keeps stress at bay whether it’s walking, bike riding, swimming, playing basketball or something else. The trick is finding the type you enjoy. Best yet, find a strategy to do with your children so everyone benefits.

Take time to laugh

Persons who are stressed often hold a lot of stress in their faces. Laughs, smiles and giggles can help relieve some of that tension. So when is the last time you belted out a good, long belly laugh with your children? Find ways to bring a little more fun into your life to curb stress and create fun family memories.

Be spontaneous: Celebrate the dog’s birthday by baking him a cake. Eat dinner in reverse. Tape a $100 bill to the garbage can (and don’t say anything about it) to see who will take out the trash. Just have fun!

Find a support group

The truth is, you devote so much time to our families, you forget to make time for your social needs, whether it’s your significant other or your girlfriends. Relationships help reduce your stress and restore balance.

Find a Mommy coach: Don’t stress alone about your children. Share your concerns with another mom and vow you’ll be one another’s cheerleader. Talking about your stress with someone who cares can reduce anxieties. Maybe you can join a social network with a mom chat room and importantly, schedule date nights.

The date doesn’t have to cost anything. It may be a walk, going to the park, watching a rented movie or sitting in the car in your driveway with wine and cheese. It’s just time alone with your significant other. There’s a reason flight attendants remind us to put on our oxygen masks first, then on the children. We can’t take care of our families unless we take time for ourselves and Moms are notorious at putting themselves on the backburner.

Take time for yourself. Make sure to check your stress. After all, a happy, less-stressed mom makes happier, lessstressed children. Always has. Always will.