Simone Thomas: The unconventional journey to motherhood
“GOD answers prayers according to His perfect will, in His perfect timing.” This quote aptly sums up the unconventional journey to motherhood taken by Simone Thomas, manager of productivity and strategy execution at JMMB Group. Thomas confesses that after more than a decade-long journey of being denied the opportunity to “become a mother,” her faith though shaken was never dashed. In what she describes as “God’s perfect will and timing”, she this year celebrated her first Mother’s Day as the mother of three foster children.
Describing her tiny tots, she said it was “nothing short of a miracle”.
“Imagine having three children in the space of a year…i got them ready-made, nicely designed and well-packaged — they are more than I could have ever asked God for,” she gushed.
Thomas said growing up in an extended family, where her home was always open to children whether they were her mother’s biological children or children from the wider community, the maternal instinct came natural to her. This was further honed by her involvement in children’s and youth ministries at her church. It therefore seemed like the natural progression when she met and married her husband, Lancelot, who shared her love for children, that they would fill their homes with little footsteps.
But Thomas’ hopes of becoming a biological mother was instead met with the harsh realities of battling polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which in addition to causing weight gain, acne and irregular periods and other health concerns, impacted her fertility. Although feeling betrayed by her body, Thomas was determined to explore her options, eventually turning to a fertility specialist that recommended a threeyear long course of lifestyle changes leading to intrauterine insemination. This saw Thomas shedding more than 50 pounds to increase her chances of getting pregnant and to compensate for the likely weight gain, which is a symptom of PCOS.
Now in advanced maternal age and no success so far with assisted fertility treatments, Thomas sought the face of God in tears for an answer to her prayers.
“Although, I had always figured that whether or not I became a mom I would be OK, a part of me wanted to experience motherhood, especially for my husband’s sake,” she shared.
But unbothered by whether or not he was a biological father, Lancelot was open to the idea of adoption. Simone was hesitant, clinging desperately to the hope that her fate would change with a miracle in the form of twin babies.
It was the chance discussion with a friend who had fostered a child through the support of the For the Child (FTC) Foster Care Programme, that became the sign that she needed to take a leap of faith. The FTC programme is a privately run programme under Family Life Ministries in partnership with the Child Protection and Family Services Agency and Nairn Family Homes in Canada.
The decision to go the unconventional route to motherhood was one filled with uncertainty and many tearful moments, but now with her “bundles of joy on board”, Thomas has no regrets. Laughing, she shared, “indeed
God answered my prayer as my foster children also include a [set of] twins, and I always wanted twins.”
She eased into motherhood, having spent the time to research the process of the temporary arrangement of custody or guardianship for children whose parents are currently unable to provide them with the necessary care.
Thomas described the transition to motherhood as seamless as she took the time to prepare psychologically, financially, and made adjustments to her home to welcome the new additions to her family. Crediting her village for support along the journey, notably her mother, friends, and professionals like the social worker and psychologist assigned to her and Lancelot through FTC, she was fully prepared.
“I also took advantage of the JMMB Employee Assistant Programme to get the necessary counselling to ensure that I was fully ready mentally, and even a member of my team gave me books to help,” she said. “I realise that if you open your heart, you can easily care for children whether they are yours biologically or not, and so it has been so easy for us to love our foster children and share our lives with them. They have brought such joy.”
Embracing her role as a foster mother, Thomas outlined that as much as she loves her children, she understands that this arrangement is intended to be temporary.
“I am fine with the children interacting with members of their biological family, provided that this is approved by the FTC, as I love when children know their roots, having experienced first-hand the value of having a loving family,” she said.
“I therefore want them to have that, where circumstances permit. I see interaction with the biological family while under my care as an opportunity to have more parents and more people to love the children and support them.”