Zayn Ma­lik dis­cusses strug­gles in au­to­bi­og­ra­phy

Jamaica Gleaner - - ENTERTAINMENT -

Kenichi Mat­suyama, por­tray­ing shogi mas­ter Satoshi Mu­rayama in ‘Satoshi: A Move for To­mor­row’. NEW YORK (AP): SINCE HE left One Di­rec­tion, Zayn Ma­lik has been pub­lic with his battle with anx­i­ety. But the singer also says he was strug­gling with even more be­hind the scenes – a pos­si­ble eat­ing dis­or­der.

Zayn made the rev­e­la­tion in his new au­to­bi­og­ra­phy, Zayn, on Pen­guin Ran­dom House and also dis­cussed it in an in­ter­view with The As­so­ci­ated Press.

“When I look back at the images of my­self from around Novem­ber 2014, be­fore the fi­nal tour, I can see how ill I was,” the 23 year-old writes in the book, call­ing it an “eat­ing dis­or­der”.

In an in­ter­view with the AP, Zayn explains that he was so busy on the road that he would for­get to eat. “I re­alised that I wasn’t eat­ing as much just down to the amount of work that we were do­ing ... Our sched­ule was kind of crazy, so we were all over the place,” he said.

“It was just more down to los­ing track of, you know, ac­tu­ally eat­ing and be­ing su­per­busy and get­ting caught up with other things that 17- or 18-year-olds do, which nor­mally en­tails them go­ing out, drink­ing, or par­ty­ing. So it was a mix­ture of ev­ery­thing,” he said.

How­ever, looking back on it now, he down­plays the se­ri­ous­ness of it all: “I don’t think I ever had an eat­ing dis­or­der. I was never di­ag­nosed with one of them.” Ex­plain­ing that he would miss meals while in 1D, he now is bet­ter man­ag­ing his eat­ing: “I’m a bit older and a bit more wise,” he said.


Zayn Ma­lik

In the book, his pro­logue is ded­i­cated to 1D and the phe­nom­e­nal success they achieved in a short time, selling out sta­di­ums around the world, win­ning count­less awards, launch­ing back-to-back hits and plat­inum-plus al­bums.

“I’m mas­sively grate­ful for the op­por­tu­nity to be in that group,” he said to AP of the pop group, formed in 2010 on The X Fac­tor in the United King­dom. “It was a wicked part of my life.”

Still, he bolted from the group be­cause he felt lost and needed time to col­lect his thoughts. He yearned to sing songs in a dif­fer­ent style and write his own lyrics.

“What you’ve got to un­der­stand is that none of us re­ally had much say in the mu­sic,” he writes.

When asked if he’s still friends with his for­mer band­mates, he told the AP: “Yeah we’re talk­ing – some of us are.”

Has he heard Niall Ho­ran’s solo sin­gle? “I have, yes,” he said. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

Zayn’s solo al­bum, Mind of Mine, bowed ear­lier this year and veered into more R&B ter­ri­tory. It de­buted at num­ber one, but Zayn wasn’t pre­pared for solo star­dom, even can­celling per­for­mances be­cause he said he was too anx­ious. In June, he bowed out of his per­for­mance at the Cap­i­tal Sum­mer­time Ball in London at the Wem­b­ley Arena, where he pre­vi­ously per­formed with 1D.

“I felt sick. I couldn’t breathe,” he writes about the morn­ing of the show. “The idea to­tally freaked me out and I was paral­ysed with anx­i­ety.”

Zayn said he now is able to cope with it, though he de­clined to of­fer specifics to the AP. “I don’t re­ally dis­close that in­for­ma­tion, like publicly, what I do to man­age cer­tain things, but I do the things that are re­quired,” he said. While he de­tails some of his dif­fi­cul­ties in the book, don’t ex­pect a juicy tell-all: he rarely men­tions for­mer fi­ancée, Lit­tle Mix mem­ber Per­rie Ed­wards, and doesn’t talk about cur­rent girl­friend Gigi Ha­did.


Still, there are some in­sights for Zayn fans. He writes that if he wasn’t a singer, he would have prob­a­bly gone to col­lege to study English or worked as a song­writer and pro­ducer for other artistes.

As he re­flected on his time in 1D and leav­ing the group, then re­leas­ing his own al­bum and num­ber one hit Pil­lowtalk, Zayn said he’s happy.

“I’m great, ac­tu­ally, at the mo­ment,” he said from a stu­dio in Los An­ge­les, where he is record­ing his sec­ond solo al­bum. “The anx­i­ety ob­vi­ously came from just the per­for­mance as­pect of things, just not re­ally un­der­stand­ing what that was go­ing to be like as a solo per­former and just be­ing ap­pre­hen­sive as any­body is go­ing into some­thing new.”

He also felt that be­ing in 1D was a jug­ger­naut he couldn’t quite han­dle.

“That ma­chine was al­ready go­ing. It was at 100 miles per hour and it was harder to get off that ma­chine,” he said. “I’m con­trol­ling this one.”


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