How to get best results from dominance
IN THE decades that I have worked with the DISC Framework providing coaching and solutions to individuals and organisations, problems relating to dominance is one constant among the issues to be resolved.
I have shared frequently on how to deal with dominant individuals. We have gone as far as developing a Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)-accredited certification programme specifically to address this recurring challenge.
Today, I want to place the focus on what dominant individuals can do to get better results. What adjustments can a dominant leader, manager, wife, husband, professional make to enhance relationships and improve performance?
1. PLACE GREATER VALUE ON TEAMWORK
This is loaded because it touches many of the issues that others have in dealing with you. These three bullet points help:
I You may have the vision and clarity re the destination, however, some people need to know where they are going, and the route to be taken before signing up and becoming fully engaged. Make the time to sell the vision and strategy on an ongoing basis.
I Resist the temptation to go it alone when others are not responding at the pace and in the manner that you want. A one-man band is great, but a group brings added benefits. Place value on this added dimension and work to preserve it, despite frustrations and lost time.
I Time invested in empowering your support crew can have extraordinary returns on investment.
2. BE MORE SENSITIVE
It is not immediately clear why some people are so thin-skinned, and some do need to grow up. However, until that changes, fix what you have under your control – you. One of your redeeming features is that you are frank and willing to let others know where you stand.
That said, you get better results if you pause to state your views more diplomatically – being conscious that your audience might be sensitive.
Trust me on this – body language, tone and facial expression are the killers. You are merely emphasising a point, but get the pushback that you are shouting. Adopt the S-style and pu-n-c-t-u-a-t-e sentences in a quieter voice when upset.
Remember also, not all moments are right for teaching and correcting. Postpone calling out the spade until later. Some people also sweat the small stuff and get offended if you totally ignore them.
3. LISTEN EVEN THOUGH ...
I know. This is the third time that he has said, “As I said before ...”
I know that you got it the first time, and you are ready to move on. Listen to me, if you shut him down, he is going to complain that he can’t get a chance to express himself and might clam up going forward. Sink your nails into your palms, maintain eye contact and appear attentive. Tip: Summarise what you have heard to reduce the frequency of the ‘you’re not listening’ feedback.
4. SPEND MORE TIME IN ANALYSIS
Your track record justifiably inspires the confidence you exhibit. However, history is replete with cases of failure arising from overconfidence. Stay true to doing the homework (or have it done for you).
While you are at it – ask more, tell less. Developing the capacity and willingness to use powerful questioning techniques is transformational.
5. BYPASS TRIGGERS
Some things annoy you – work to calmly respond to them. Others may deliberately use them to upset you.
6. ALLOW MORE TIME FOR RECHARGING
Batteries run down and are dysfunctional in that state. Manage your time so that you can function in peak state most of the time. One solution is to bring laser focus to how you allocate your time. Make the decision to shed a low-priority, low valueadding project and channel that time into recharging your battery and upgrading your skills. Spend some time in a useful learning and development programme or commit to a coaching intervention.