The party scene: Managing alcohol/drug exposure

DURING THE teen years, it is normal for our children to want to fit in and sometimes to give in to peer pressure to be like their friends, do what their friends do, dress like their friends do, even when they don’t think it’s the best thing to do. It’s hard being the odd one out. Negative peer pressure may make our adolescents feel like they need to experiment with substances such as alcohol, marijuana and tobacco – to be cool, to fit in or sometimes to feel better about themselves or forget their problems.

It is our job as parents and caregivers to teach our young people how to recognise negative peer pressure and how to avoid it. It is impossible to hide all drugs away from our children, so we must teach them how to manage if they are exposed to it. Here are a few suggestions on how to do that:

Let your adolescent know what behaviour you expect from them. Use everyday opportunities to teach them. For example, you could be watching a movie with your child and a drunk person does something silly that results in problems – talk through it with your child, but remember not to lecture them, it’s a conversation – sharing ideas and thoughts with each other.

Your adolescent will be exposed to drugs – tell them to expect it. Tell them someone is going to offer it to them at some point. Let them practise with you how to say ‘no’. Let them know it’s okay to be different, even if everyone else is doing it.

Do not use substances around your child/adolescent and then expect them not to use it. The ‘do-as-I-say-not-asI-do’ rule just doesn’t work. So, if you choose to drink alcohol, for example, around your adolescent, then you must do so responsibly. Getting drunk in front of your child should never be an option.

If your adolescent is driving, they must be told to drink NO ALCOHOL. Most teenagers have limited driving experience and alcohol will impair their driving skills putting themselves, their passenger(s) and other road users at significant risk. Encourage your teenager and their friends to ALWAYS have a designated driver. Remind them that they don’t need alcohol or other drugs to have a good time when they go out.

Let your child know and understand that they can always call you if they get into trouble. They must call you, their parent/caregiver if they are unable to get home safely. For example, if they are driving but had alcohol to drink and know it’s not safe to drive, if the designated driver decided to drink, if they experimented with a drug(s) and are ‘high’ and can’t get home, or if they feel unsafe where they are for whatever reason – they must call you, no matter what the time is. Get them home safely first. Then the following morning, discuss how this happened and what the consequences will be, when everyone is calm and thinking straight. Your child must never be too afraid to call you when they need help. They must understand that no matter what, you will always love them – this unconditional love is what they need.