– TRABANT (1957-1990)

We saved the worst for last – the Trabant (or Trabi). The Trabant was a utilitarian car built in East Germany from 1957 to 1990. Not surprisingly, the Germans who manufactured the car, VEB Sachsenring Automobilwerke Zwickau, knew exactly how many Trabants they produced (3,096,099). It’s the size of a Mini Cooper. The Trabant has twocylinder two-stroke engine with a horsepower of 26 – the same as a Sears Craftsman 917 riding lawn mower. The Trabi has no oil pump. You have to mix two-cycle oil with the gas by yourself, so the Trabant spews a constant plume of gray, pungent exhaust.

But in communist East Germany, the Trabant was a status symbol. The waiting list to get a Trabbi was as long as 15 years and they cost a year’s wages.

But despite its downfalls, owners could fix most any problem with a screw driver and a couple of wrenches. If you couldn’t repair it yourself, you could get the factory to fix it and you’d have a likenew Trabant (without that new car smell).

Our goal is that you vehemently disagree with our list. Our hope is that right now you’re in a bar with your car buddies harrumphing that we left off the Festiva, the Matador, the Cavalier, the Reliant, the LeBaron, the Mustang II, the Lincoln Continental Mark IV, the Bricklin SV1, the Explorer, the Eagle Premier, and Johnny Shipley’s 1983 entry in the Boy Scout Troop 349 Soap Box Derby in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

But before you begin your raucous discourse, pour yourselves some double shots of Wodka Gorbatschow potato vodka.

And toast the Trabant.