Still gonna die

An ode to laziness (or low testosterone)

IHAVE nothing against people who live healthy lifestyles. On the contrary, I used to be one of them. I never got to the level of drinking herbal juices and only eating from a specialised food plan.

But there was a time in my life (seems like millennia ago) that I was a bit of health buff.

I worked out four times a week most weeks. One day was for my chest and arms, another for legs, one for back and shoulders, and the good old cardio day.

I was doing everything from football drills, like mi name Messi, to kickboxing, like I was going to take up a mixed martial arts contract with the UFC.

You should have seen me back then, man. I’m not saying I was sculpted like a statue of a Greek god, but I wasn’t too bad.

Alas, now the only running I do is to get to the eggs before they burn in the pot.

The only weights these arms and hands are lifting are juicy burgers, and those meaty meals are heading right for my welcoming mouth (and subsequently stomach and hips).

Not sure when I lost my zest for working out. Maybe I got bored or maybe I started losing testosterone (I hear that happens over time to some guys).

There are times I want to get back, but whenever I feel that way, I usually revert to that country and western song from which the title of this column takes its name, Still Gonna Die.

NOBODY’S IMMORTAL

Ironically, done by a group named The Old Guys, they pointed out the obvious: nobody immortal resides on planet Earth.

There is a saying that the birth rate for smokers and non-smokers is the same, 100 per cent.

Same for vegans versus meat eaters, and drinkers versus those who drink nothing stronger than a Malta.

Now, some people will tell you that yes, even though you will die, the focus should be on the quality of life, especially as you get to your later years.

Fair enough, except, some of the happiest people I’ve seen are afflicted with some of the worst diseases and ailments known to mankind.

Happiness, as I’ve come to realise, is all about mindset. Some people have successfully found a way to be content no matter what situation they may find themselves in.

Still figuring out how to do that, but that’s another column for another time.

So back to the exercise. For the self-conscious, gyms and fitness centres can be daunting. Yes, there are people stupid enough to laugh at a fat person on a treadmill (you do realise they’re trying to do something positive, right?)

But while I’m not that sensitive, I just wonder if it’s worth the trouble. But having seen the benefits years ago, I know a little exercise doesn’t hurt at all. (Well, it does hurt, but you know what I mean).

So to all those who think they need a little trimming of the waist, or toning of a few limbs, do your thing. Get out and walk, run, or something.

But just remember, we know how the story ends (chuckle).