Money fi burn!

WHEN I grow up I want to be a king in Saudi Arabia. I know it’s not going to happen because, quite frankly, I just don’t have the lineage for such a title.

And even if you could buy yourself kingship (can you?), where would I get that kind of money from legally? The Jamaican Super Lotto can only carry you so far.

But anyway, a friend of mine shared a link that Saudi Arabia’s King Salman journeyed to Morocco for his usual summer holiday and spent a mere US$100 million.

Yes, folks, me and the mathematics a nuh fren but you read that right.

Israeli newspaper reported the king had a one-month holiday in the coastal city of Tangier, which saw his entourage staying in exquisite (and expensive) hotels, while he settled into a 74-acre estate.

“More than 1,000 guests, including relatives, ministers and security staffers, arrived with Salman, who reserved about 800 hotel rooms for the trip, along with 200 cars that were leased for the group,” the story said.

The trip, based on calculations, is expected to pass the 100 million landmark. It gets better (or worse, if yuh bad mind). Last year’s trip to the same location saw “roughly 100 black Mercedes sedans and Range Rovers”, according to the New York Times.

Mi neck string! Now, a that you call flossing! Imagine if dem man deh did a do money pull up inna Jamaica? Selector woulda buy big house and Range Rover after one night of work.

Can you imagine what it’s like for those kings and emirs when they actually lose money?

I wonder how much loss would make them tear their hair out, or at the very least, make them grimace even a little.

If he can afford to spend that much on a month’s getaway, then I highly doubt he’s going to lose sleep over, let’s say, losing a US$100,000 bet on a horserace.

For all we know, these guys play their board games with real money. I can picture them now yelling “Rent” in a game of Monopoly.

Juxtapose that with Jamaica where the money nah exactly flow like Rio Cobre in spate.

I’ve seen people who can’t find J$100 or less, and look like they’re about to have a stroke.

I’ve tried to envision how I would behave if I ever had more money than I could spend in a lifetime.

On one hand, I believe I would be a normal guy, who remembers that he’s flesh and blood like everyone else.

But sometimes, I fear I would become a punk. For instance, maybe I wouldn’t care how I drive because, cho, I can buy another one before the current one is even on the wrecker.

Better yet, I wouldn’t be driving at all. Straight chauffeur-driven life we say!

Ah, but that’s all ‘what if’. To be honest, I don’t believe some of us are meant to have so much money. Like the rap song said years ago, “more money, more problems”.

And besides, who needs Tangier? I live in Jamaica. (sips Pepsi and takes cool breeze).