Unhealthy relationships

Adolescents should learn how to recognise unhealthy relationships; to be wary when a partner wants more than they are ready to share or are willing to give in return. They need to recognise when a partner is being verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually abusive. Encourage them to feel confident to tell a responsible adult if this happens and get support, and when necessary, to report this to the relevant authorities. Healthy relationships are positive experiences which develop self-confidence, personal strength and a sense of ability to succeed. They don’t require gifts, cash or in-kind payments; the reward is enjoying special times with someone they value. Discuss how having an older partner can create an imbalance of power particularly in sexual decision making. Parents, be your adolescent’s role model – if you are in an unhealthy relationship – get help.

Discuss behaviours that can lead to poor reproductive health outcomes. While drinking alcohol and using other substances may seem cool or adult, adolescents must understand that these behaviours impair judgement and can increase the likelihood of engaging in unsafe sex (without a condom), intercourse with multiple partners, including high-risk partners. Discussing music, movies and other forms of entertainment where these behaviours are modelled, is a good way to alert the adolescent. Debate the advantages of delaying sexual activity. Discuss the importance of positive goals: forming a strong relationship with a longterm partner (versus a boyfriend who may be gone in two months); adhering to religious values; meeting family expectations; going to university, etc.

Our goal should be to help adolescents develop into sexually healthy adults – free from fear, shame or other psychological factors that inhibit normal sexual responses or impair sexual relationships. Let us all work towards being healthy sexual beings.