‘My Parents’

IN OUR last ‘class’, we spent time discussing the pain that a son who had become a problem, a criminal, caused his mother. As we consider the poem My Parents by Stephen Spender below, there are differences that you should recognise, and we will get to those in time. As is customary, I am asking you to read the poem at least two times if this is the first time you are going to be studying it. Sometimes, as you try to understand a poem, you may have to check on the meanings of some words, but here, perhaps the only one with which you may be unfamiliar is ‘lithe’. This is one work with which you should have no difficulty, told as it is by a child in simple language.

MY PARENTS By Stephen Spender

When I read this poem for the first time, I wondered why the title is My Parents. The speaker is a child and the focus is “...children

who were rough”, but the poet must have his reasons and we are going to find them. In stanza one, we have a description of the other characters who feature in this poem. It is a description which continues to the end, presenting us with children who are obviously from poor families and are free to roam at will. They are strong and cruel to the speaker, who does not belong to their group. Now, for a closer look at each stanza!

In stanza one, we meet our speaker, who is himself a part of the narrative. We hear that he has parents who control and direct his actions. Then we meet other children who are described as rough; or we can say unrefined or violent or difficult or unpleasant or harsh. The second line supports the idea introduced in line one, in that the word ‘rough’ can be applied to the words they use, as well as the way they are dressed. These children do not seem to have much, for their clothes are ragged, with parts of their bodies on show. They are free to run wild, whether in the streets or climbing steep rocks or swimming in the streams, and obviously lack the supervision which the speaker’s parents provide for him.

In stanza two, the speaker tells us that all the physical activities of the rough children pay off, for they have muscles of iron with which they hold on to him. He, it appears, has been abused by the other boys. He is very scared of them, for he is one against many, and, from his attitude, makes it clear that he cannot match their strength.

What do you think of the use of the word ‘salt’? You know that we have an expression which includes the word salt which, when applied to a person, suggests that that person is prone to having bad or unfortunate things happening to him. In this case, the word is paired with the way the rough boys pointed at him as they make him an object of mockery. It is easy, therefore, to grasp that their rude and vulgar gestures hurt the speaker. He is under both physical and emotional abuse. Their cruelty is highlighted in line 8:

“Who copied my lisp behind me on the road.”I

am sure that you can picture them doing this and, because such antics are usually accompanied by laughter, our speaker would be aware and would be embarrassed and humiliated.

The third stanza continues where the second has left off, describing the physical prowess of the group; this time as they are compared to dogs. Again, they throw things, not words on this occasion, but mud. It is to be noted that around them, the boy tries to ignore their hurtful conduct and even pretends to smile. Surprisingly, he is anxious to forgive them, while they offer no sign of wanting to change their relationship.

Words can really do great harm. Try to remember, then, that it is better not to say anything about a person, than to say something hurtful. We will return to this poem next week. God bless!

My parents kept me from children who were rough

Who threw words like stones and wore torn clothes

Their thighs showed through rags they ran in the street

And climbed cliffs and stripped by the country streams.

I feared more than tigers their muscles like iron

Their jerking hands and their knees tight on my arms

I feared the salt coarse pointing of those boys Who copied my lisp behind me on the road.

They were lithe they sprang out behind hedges

Like dogs to bark at my world. They threw mud

While I looked the other way, pretending to smile.

I longed to forgive them but they never smiled.