Stop procrastinating on your goals
QUESTION: A friend and I were talking and I outlined my plans and goals to her. She shocked me and left me somewhat embarrassed when she said, “Oh, but I know that you will soon lose interest in those plans. I don’t want to pour cold water on your goals, but action is where it is at, not a bag a mouth.” I was going to retort with something smart, but decided to soak up the uncomfortable emotions because I realised she was telling the truth. What can I do to stop procrastinating on my goals?
– Embarrassed
Thank you for your question. I must tell you, your friend is a good person. And I must commend you for holding your tongue and thinking it over. The fact that you can say that your friend is telling the truth says a lot. Many people would respond to their friend in anger and hurt and miss the lesson, but you are showing that you are different.
In order to know what to do to beat procrastination, you need to understand it.
When you put off something you really want to do, it is either you don’t want to do it, deep down. Or you have beliefs deep down that you don’t deserve or are not capable of achieving.
In other words, it’s a question of motivation on one hand or deservedness and capacity on the other. Only you can correctly determine which.
You need to clarify your motivation to see if you really want those goals or they are just something nice you would like to have, if they won’t cost you anything. The test is in action. Your friend is one hundred per cent correct. Are you willing to inconvenience yourself and possibly face some challenging situation to make your words congruent with your actions?
I want to say to you that it is no shame if you decide that your goals were not what you wanted after all.
Brian Tracy, author of advises that: “You can get control over your tasks and activities only to the degree that you stop doing some things and start spending more time on the few activities that can really make a difference in your life”. So just decide what you really want, and spend your time on that. But what if lack of motivation is not the culprit? Well, many of us – myself included – possess inhibiting beliefs that keep us back. Maybe from growing up we formed beliefs based on our circumstances like: ‘I really don’t have the ability to do that, even though I really want to’; or ‘Simon or Cheryl can do that; it is easy for them, but I can’t compete for such a career. I would just make a fool of myself’.
What such self-defeating thoughts reveal is a low self-esteem, and that deep down inside you don’t feel you are capable of accomplishing those goals or you don’t deserve them. In this instance, you may need to see a career counsellor or your friend. You are perfectly capable of achieving your goals. Everyone that you look up to can be an inspiration if you check out their story.
Stay close to your friend. He or she has your best interest at heart, and positively use the embarrassing episode. Use it as leverage not to make happen again. All the best.