Funeral vs ‘finnaral’
JUST FOR the record, I have been to many funerals, but I have never been to a ‘finnaral’. God’s willing, I will never attend any.
The other day, a videorecording of reprehensible behaviour at a graveside was making the usual rounds. There was obvious, immense grief. People were wailing and screaming and flinging themselves towards the coffin as it was being lowered into the ground. They even opened the thing repeatedly as the minister tried in vain to maintain some semblance of order and civility. Reverence was abandoned.
There was tugging and pushing and exposed underwear and bare skin which, for me, precipitated flashbacks of the Beenie Man song, “Gyal a tear off mi
garment ... .” That sort of expression of grief is seen at ‘finnarals’.
Mourners at funerals experience the same level of grief but are staid, far less expressive, follow the instructions of the minister(s), and always keep at the fore the religious significance of the ceremony.
‘Finnaral’ attendees are often dressed to outbling each other. Bare as you dare is the order of the day. Also in evidence is ‘nuff-nuff’ elaborate coiffure that must have taken the better part of a day to prepare. Piercings, tattoos, see-through clothes, shorts, mesh stockings and tight, distorted footwear are common. Bleached skins predominate.
Excessive and gaudy facial make-up, along with tons of assorted jewellery, must all be on show. The guys wear tight, hip-riding pants and restrictive jackets. Dangerous ‘roach-killer’ shoes adorn their colourfully socked feet. Oversize watches, rings, wrist bracelets and bangles profile.
MANDATORY INCONVENIENCE
Even as the mandatory inconvenience of the church service is being conducted, there are gatherings of men soaking up alcoholic beverages and talking loudly in slurred speech until the service is over and the journey to the graveside begins.
Naturally, finnarals never use police outriders because, “Ah dem run tings pon di road.” Off they go at a high rate of speed. The ‘bike man dem’ block traffic to allow free flow to the burial.
I always marvel at the rush to bury the dead.
These finnaral processions will literally run you off the road and endanger your life for the dead, who are obviously in no rush to go anywhere.
The hearse plays cacophonous noise as it speeds to the burial ground. Sometimes there is a marching procession, where there is a party atmosphere with raucous behaviour.
Wild abandon, rubbing up and ‘wining’ is often seen. It’s an irreverent celebration better suited for a dancehall setting behind obstructive bunting.
However, it seems that finnaral attendees believe that they honour their fallen friends/relatives by indulging in a (post-mortem) party for them.
Some funerals are occasionally attended by a smattering of people dressed as if they were going to a finnaral. Whenever they are in the presence of funeral-goers and without their accustomed unleashed effusive ebullience, they seem out of place, withdrawn and selfconscious. They tend to fold their arms as if hugging themselves for solace.
I once attended a funeral that was in danger of becoming a finnaral. A noticeable portion of the mourners were dressed for the latter.
Obviously, the pastor was well aware of the possibility of that happening, so he took great pains to repeatedly admonish the congregation not to attempt to reopen the casket at the graveside. He warned that any bad behaviour would result in him leaving immediately.
Stern ministers can prevent the ridiculous behaviour seen at finnarals. And, the police can stop the ‘bike man dem’ who pose as official outriders from taking over the job of traffic control from the constabulary.
We need the restoration of discipline and civility to convert finnarals back into funerals.