Forcing older siblings to babysit ... They have lives, too

The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows when But I’m strong Strong enough to carry him He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother The Hollies – He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

WITH MANY families living on a shoestring budget, trying to juggle the day-to-day expenses as well as keeping food on the table is quite a challenge. Throw in the cost of hiring someone to watch over your young children and the budget is thrown totally out of whack. As a way of coping, many parents, especially those who are tasked with doing it alone, have resorted to assigning the older siblings as unofficial babysitters.

With this burden being shifted to the children, they end up paying the price for their parents’ inability to properly care for their young offspring.

‘CHIP IN’

While some elder siblings are able to ‘chip in’ while still participating in their school activities, the reality is that many end up missing school on occasions or being habitually late because of the extra duties they are called on to perform at home.

Chevelle Campbell, youth empowerment officer at the Clarendon Youth Information Centre, told Family and Religion that in her capacity at the centre, she has had to counsel many teenagers who feel that their parents are being unfair in wanting them to give up their time to babysit or take charge of their younger siblings. She said that it is a scenario that has caused many frustrated teenagers to become rebellious.

Campbell shared that having this situation forced upon them can leave older children feeling as if they have no real power in the family.

Campbell, in pointing out one of the far-reaching effects, shared that siblings will develop a feeling of resentment for parents and the ones they are forced to oversee.

“At that stage of their lives, it is important for them to be part of social clubs as it will help in their development. The forced parenting will definitely make them feel as if they are missing out.”

Campbell hastened, however, to point out that she was not against older siblings helping out at home and making the burden lighter on their parents – but within reason, she stressed.

“I believe that children should help out, but based on the age, the parents should be mindful of the number of responsibilities that are thrust upon them. Parents should ensure that the child has the opportunity to grow personally and professionally and that chores and responsibilities don’t deprive them of opportunities,” she said.

LEGAL ASPECT

Commenting on the legal aspect, Campbell said, unfortunately, too many parents are unaware of the laws surrounding the care and upbringing of children.

Blaming it on enforcers being too lax or lenient, she said that children, too, are unaware of their rights.

Older siblings can supervise while one or both parents are home, but if that sibling is in his early teens, leaving him alone to care for the younger ones is in breach of the Child Care and Protection Act. That, she said, falls into the same category as leaving them unsupervised.

Citing the Human Rights Act – Article 24, Campbell said that every child has the right to play, and enforced duties are definitely robbing them of that right.

Cognisant, however, of Jamaica’s reality and how hard it is on single parents trying to do the best they can, Campbell said that this is where community parenting would be ideal.

“Reach out ... a lot of communities have thriving groups. You have to be able, be part of a support group where both the older and the younger children will be under responsible eyes. In return, you can offer your services when other parents can’t be around for their children,” suggested Campbell.

She said that parents should try in every way possible to ensure that each child, young or older, gets quality time in education, leisure and enjoying his own space.