DON’T STAY MARRIED
Church leader’s message to abused women
We are aware that, unfortunately, some of us have been guilty of not being firm and strong enough in helping persons to understand that violence should not be tolerated. HYDE-RILEY
WITH JAMAICANS trying to come to grips with a spate of domestic disputes ending in murder in recent weeks, president of the Jamaica Council of Churches, Merlyn Hyde-Riley, is concerned that some persons are remaining in loveless relationships because of the belief that marriage is permanent.
“We are aware that, unfortunately, some of us have been guilty of not being firm and strong enough in helping persons to understand that violence should not be tolerated.
“Because of the firm belief we have in marriage, for example, being permanent, sometimes people live in abusive relationships, and it is really at a point where the person’s humanity is being diminished and we sometimes still encourage the relationship to continue with no change being experienced, in terms of the victim being helped or the aggressor addressing their level of aggression,” Hyde-Riley told The Sunday Gleaner.
She was one of the presenters during the World Council of Churches 20th anniversary celebrations of the Ecumenical Decade in Solidarity with Women at the Knutsford Court Hotel between last Tuesday and Friday.
The event saw women from around the world coming together to solidify their commitment to end violence against women and girls.
Jamaicans are still mourning the gruesome killing of several women and girls in recent times and families have been left devastated. The rape and subsequent murder of 14-year-old Yetanya Francis in Trench Town in August brought many to tears.
Then news came a month later about the butchering of 45-year-old gas station supervisor Deon Smith and her 16year-old daughter Jayshenel Gordon of Rosemount in St James by her common-law husband, Fabian Lyewsang, who then killed himself.
The killings continued last week leaving relatives of District Constable Mellissa Edwards-Whyte struggling to understand her death, allegedly at the hands of her husband. He has since turned himself in to the police.
NO INTERVENTION IN PLACE
“We have been having a number of murder/suicides. Most times when it gets to that stage, that’s not where it began, it started a long time ago; people knew about it and there were no interventions or measures, and sometimes the women were made to feel that they have to remain in the situation,” said Hyde-Riley
“There are some churches, as you know, that do not support divorce for any reason at all, but we believe that when the marriage is broken down to the point where pretty much the essence of it is continuous abuse, then that takes away the very dignity and humanity of another human being,” declared the Baptist minister. Hyde-Riley noted that some churches have been deliberate in establishing safe spaces for persons who are being abused. In these spaces, victims of abuse are able to get counselling and are often connected to individuals who can offer assistance.
Several church members have also joined the global campaign called Thursdays in Black, which invites persons to dress in black on Thursdays and wear a pin to indicate that they resist attitudes and practices that permit rape and violence.
“Very often, we don’t announce what we are doing, and so sometimes you would hear people saying what is the church doing, but most of the denominations, certainly I can speak about the denominations that are a part of the Jamaica Council of Churches, they do have initiatives where safe spaces are provided,” she said.
The Jamaica Council of Churches is an ecumenical body which represents 11 Christian denominations in the country.