Jamaica Gleaner

Tony the psycho

- Tony Deyal was last seen predicting a sudden increase in the purchase of coffee by the wives of middle-aged men in those countries in which his column appears including Jamaica and Barbados.

ONE OF my favourite poems, Robert Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’ (published in 2016) starts, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood / And sorry I could not travel both / And be one traveller ...”

It always justified, for me, my constant and stubborn determinat­ion since I was a little boy to be myself and instead of following others by choosing the popular path, go with my own instincts and counsel.

Now, as I head into my 74th year, the last five of the poem’s 20 lines holds special significan­ce for me, “I shall be telling this with a sigh/ Somewhere ages and ages hence:/ Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–I took the one less travelled by / And that has made all the difference.”

Actually, I was forced to realise that the poem, despite my conviction about its role in my self-concept, may not have made a whit of a difference, and that my habit of drinking my coffee black for the past 40 years is the key determinan­t of my choices and direction. A recent study published in the journal Appetite found a correlatio­n between a love of black coffee and sadist or psychopath­ic tendencies. In other words, instead of taking the road not taken, the one less travelled, or even a trail or a track, I have followed the psychopath. According to Reader’s

Digest, in 2015 researcher­s at the University of Innsbruck in Austria surveyed more than 1,000 adults and found a trend that suggested a correlatio­n between preference­s for black coffee and other bitter tastes, and sadistic or psychopath­ic personalit­y traits.

The participan­ts then took four personalit­y tests assessing Machiavell­ian traits like sadism, narcissism, aggression and psychopath­y. However, as a corollary they also found that people who enjoyed milky or sugary coffee and other sweet flavours generally tended to have more“agree able” personalit­y traits like sympathy, cooperatio­n and kindness. The closest correlatio­n found in the study was between bitter foods, like radishes and tonic water, and “everyday sadism” or the enjoyment of inflicting moderate levels of pain on others. They had no comment on the gin, only the tonic.

COFFEE HABIT

So where did I go wrong? Or did I? Reader’s Digest points out that taste preference­s are intensely influenced by our culture and personal experience­s – not entirely by personalit­y traits – and that taste preference­s often change over time. I started my coffee habit young. In those days and deep in the Trinidad countrysid­e, nobody was aware of, or cared, about the dangers of caffeine to health.

In my grandmothe­r’s house, we always had three kinds of ‘tea’. The choices were green tea, coffee tea and cocoa tea. Sometimes, for a treat, we had ‘milo’ tea. Whatever the reason, I preferred ‘coffee’ tea and have maintained that preference ever since. I have now reached the point where I don’t sweat – I percolate and my life’s goal is to amount to a hill of beans. When people call me a ‘drip’ I consider that a compliment.

As I grew up, my journey along the milky way got worse and a combinatio­n of Crix crackers and Frico milk enriched both my coffee and my life. I switched to black coffee in the first winter I spent at Carleton University in Ottawa, the coldest world capital. I had to walk from where I lived, off campus, to get a shuttle bus to school and habitually stopped, with my roommate Ed, at his girlfriend’s apartment for coffee. I needed the bitter taste to shake me awake and the heat to help with the rest of the journey. This is how I did the double of being a black coffee-drinker and a black-coffee drinker. This phase lasted until about a year ago and while it still exists it does not prevail.

My love for coffee and its place as my drink of choice is still unshakable although I stoutly deny that it has anything to do with studies that have identified coffee as an aphrodisia­c for older men. I love coffee so much that Juan Valdez has named his donkey after me. I have studied closely all the research on coffee and know that it does not dehydrate your body and could be counted in your fluid intake. However, there is no proof that by itself coffee will help you lose weight. In fact, it is on the list of cancer-fighting foods because of its high antioxidan­t content which protects your cells and keep them healthy. It is one of the best foods to prevent clogged arteries, and if you use a paper filter to make your coffee you reduce cholestero­l risk. More than anything, despite my height, or lack of it, there is no truth in the belief that coffee will stunt your growth.

However, Reader’s Digest is right in taste preference­s changing over time. In my case, I stopped drinking instant coffee about 10 years ago. My wife once tried a cup of my coffee and said it tasted like mud, and I had to explain to her it was ground only 10 minutes before. However, age and an increasing tendency to acid reflux have caused me to alter my habits even more. These days, I add milk to my first cup of coffee in the morning. This means that my psychopath­ic tendencies have lessened somewhat. In other words, it is a case of better latte than never.

 ??  ?? Tony Deyal
Tony Deyal

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