Help a weary neighbour today

‘We must understand that there are times when pillow and pillar can work together to provide the support which neither can provide by itself. Whenever those times come, they become co-workers or codependent. The pillar is strong, hard and firm, while the

ELLO, MI neighbour! Which would you rather be? A pillow or a pillar? Many Jamaicans call both ‘pillah’, but that’s another story. Pillars and pillows are very important to our comfort and well-being. A pillow is a “cloth bag stuffed with feathers, foam rubber or other soft materials, used to support the head when lying down”. Would you be a good pillow? Live, and otherwise?

A pillar is described as a firm upright support for a superstructure. It is a strong column made of stone, metal, or wood that supports parts of buildings and bridges, etc. Without these pillars, important aspects of a country’s physical infrastructure would be a virtual impossibility. Would you be a strong and reliable enough pillar to withstand the test of time?

For the purposes of this article, we will define pillar/ pillow as that which provides support for human development and well-being. It must be noted here though, that a pillow cannot do the work of a pillar, and however hard it may try, a pillar can never walk in the shoes of a pillow. I guess by now you can see where I am headed.

And we must understand that there are times when pillow and pillar can work together to provide the support which neither can provide by itself. Whenever those times come, they become co-workers or codependent. The pillar is strong, hard and firm while the pillow is soft, gentle and flexible.

When working together, the pillar becomes the hard surface against which the pillow rests in order to provide the comfort for the user of both. It was not until Mr Thomas’ daughter placed a pillow between his head and the column against which his head had rested (as they waited at the hospital) that his facial muscles relaxed. Clearly, pillar and pillow combined to bring him comfort!

As we extrapolate lessons from that scenario, we will admit that the tough and the soft responses to life’s challenges must complement each other to produce desirable outcomes. Toughness is usually an indication of discipline, integrity and dependability, etc. On the other hand, softness or tenderness is usually a reflection of compassion, flexibility and openness. However, these soft qualities can open the door to abuse, especially by the unconscionable. Be careful.

And here is where a focus on balance becomes critical. In decision-making, life-changing and otherwise, we must be tough enough so as not to allow the world to press us into uselessness. At the same time, one should be soft-hearted enough to be used as a crutch by neighbours who may become weary along their journey to the fulfilment of their purpose.

And while one should be rigid in discipline, he or she should also be flexible enough to overlook acts of indiscipline where it can lead to positive outcomes.

I had an experience some time ago in which I allowed some trainees, with poor social skills, to run wild and then used those results to help them see the benefits of applying appropriate social skills under all circumstances. And man, did it work!

That said, I recommend that we endeavour to be both pillars and pillows in decision-making so that at the end of the day, history would have recorded a man or woman who “did run well.”

THANKS TO NEIGHBOURS

■ Marcia, St Andrew, for offering a refrigerator and a sofa to a neighbour.

■ Bev, St Andrew, for offering household items to a neighbour.

■ Neighbour, St Andrew for offering a TV to a neighbour.

■ Yummy Baking Enterprises Ltd for acts of kindness.

NEIGHBOURS’ REQUEST

■ Beverly, needs a wheelchair for father, who broke hip recently.

■ Monica, St Catherine got burnt out and is urgently in need of a bed and other household items.

■ Neighbour, needs food for trying son, who is attending university.

■ Young Christian woman in a desperate situation and desperately needs help.

To help, please call Silton Townsend at 334-8165, 8843866, or deposit to acct number 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to HELLO NEIGHBOUR c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10, PayPal/credit card; email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email is helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja. blogspot.com. Mr Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.