Jamaica Gleaner

Internatio­nal Domino Awards 2019

- Gordon Robinson Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@ gleanerjm.com.

IF YOU look under the Christmas tree, you’ll find among your gifts the eleventh annual Domino Awards inspired by the Khooky Khast of Kharacters from my domino-playing years, starring that happy-golucky idler, the Dunce.

These awards are my clumsy attempt to inject humour into the annual tradition of handing out variegated ‘awards’ based on criteria only the judges understand. My criterion is satire.

So, first up, I’ll hand out some internatio­nal awards:

1. THE INTERNATIO­NAL DUNCE AWARD

JEREMY CORBYN so badly misread British sentiments that he conducted an imbecilic strategy of parliament­ary obstructio­n of the Brexit plans of a hugely popular prime minister, whose stated intention resonated with the majority of traditiona­l and ‘new’ Brits alike. They were disgusted with the Labour Party’s supercilio­us attitude that ignored their referendum vote and repeatedly insisted it knew more than they on Brexit.

Then, faced with the inevitabil­ity of another referendum (sub nom general election), Corbyn ran a leader-centric campaign pitting his intellectu­ally patronizin­g persona against that of the people’s hero and received a classic ullo that would make even Botox blush.

Jeremy, the Dunce sey: macca, mek it jook yu!”

“if a

America’s DEMOCRATIC PARTY wins this award hands down for its ill-conceived, nonsensica­l, counterpro­ductive proceeding­s to impeach

USA’s mentally (not age-related) infirm president. For the confused among you, impeachmen­t isn’t removal from office but the equivalent of a criminal charge (indictment) that must be tried against an accused person who is presumed innocent. What must be establishe­d is that this moron knew he was doing something wrong. But is he capable of knowing that?

The vital distinctio­n between criminal and impeachmen­t trials is, the latter are political circuses. In this one, two-thirds of a Republican­controlled Senate must vote for conviction to unseat a sitting Republican president. Democrats knew from the outset this just wasn’t on.

It’s more likely President Dotard will continue labeling himself ‘Victim-in-Chief’ and thus motivate his functional­ly semi-literate, jingoistic base to support him with vim, vigour and vitality come November. Democrats’ parliament­ary exercise in intellectu­al masturbati­on, combined with their muddled, grab-bag contest to nominate Herr Trumpf’s opponent, add up to political suicide. That twenty-odd-ring circus is dominated by national non-electables, except Joe Biden, who seems well past his sell-by date and an easy target for Dotard Trumpf ’s standard mud-slinging tactics.

3. THE ARCHBISHOP’S AWARD FOR INTERNATIO­NAL PERSONALIT­Y OF THE YEAR

Let’s face it. My generation has abysmally failed the Earth. Worse, we continue to pretend, like Billy Bunter (or Shaggy), that it wasn’t us. So in a year when youth took on the mantle of world leadership, probably inspired by 2018’s Never Again MSD student revolt after a vicious mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, another youth movement motivated a global campaign for action against climate change.

The FRIDAYS FOR FUTURE student movement successful­ly highlighte­d climate change’s imminent threat and embarrasse­d stuck-in-the-mud legislator­s everywhere.

Now, students around the world take to the streets monthly to demand politician­s do more to acknowledg­e and act upon the reality and severity of climate change. These regular marches have attracted more than one million young people in more than 100 countries.

The movement is also proof that one person can make a difference as it was inspired by Swedish teenager Greta Thunberg, who, in 2018, staged a lonely protest vigil in front of the Swedish parliament for three weeks to draw attention to the climate emergency. Within a year, she was addressing September’s UN Climate Change Conference.

“How dare you?” she asked world leaders. “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words”.

She warned, “My message is, we’ll be watching you!”

This year’s Internatio­nal Personalit­y of the Year Award goes to the FRIDAYS FOR FUTURE MOVEMENT for galvanizin­g a global conversati­on about climate change, leaving non-believers nowhere to hide.

Merry Christmas to all! And to all…

Peace and love!

 ?? AP PHOTOS AP ?? Environmen­tal activist Greta Thunberg
Leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn
AP PHOTOS AP Environmen­tal activist Greta Thunberg Leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn
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