Jamaica Gleaner

Not everyone can deal with ‘bun’

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THE EDITOR, Madam:

THE PREVALENCE of domestic killings is a grave cause for concern and calls for an evaluation of how we approach relationsh­ips as men and women. Many men are not mature and capable enough to handle mental and emotional pressure – they need help. But because of the stereotype created by society that men ought to be tough, they keep everything in, until they sometimes explode like a volcano, destroying everything in their path.

Ladies, be very careful of whom you date. I know that, at the beginning, some men seem the opposite of who they turn out to be; but be very patient and take time to learn about your mate before you secure your fate.

Also: If you don’t want the man, leave the man and his things! If he’s abusive, walk away. If he lifts his hands, except to work and praise the Lord, take a hint and walk away. If he’s verbally abusive and short-tempered, be very watchful. If it persists, walk away. Don’t be ‘licky licky’; and walk away if you no longer want a relationsh­ip, instead of being unfaithful, because not everyone can deal with ‘bun’.

Furthermor­e, there’s a quickdate syndrome going around these days, where people meet, exchange general informatio­n, talk a few times on the phone, go out on a date or two, and then, all of a sudden, establish a common-law relationsh­ip. Take time out to know each other and subscribe to the biblical principle of preserving your intimacy for marriage. Hastening into a relationsh­ip without getting the opportunit­y to thoroughly assess your partner may lead to your detriment, when you finally discover the dark side of the one you’ve fallen for.

I sympathise with all the women who have been killed by their partners and pray for their families. Let us all work together to encourage each other to rise above violent means of settling disputes.

Peace.

JERMAINE JOHNSON Pastor

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