Bob and Cindy mix up, mix up
LAST WEEK I came across a post by Cindy Breakspeare, the mother of popular reggae artiste Damian Marley, one of Bob Marley’s children. It was made on what would have been Bob’s 79th birthday and included multiple photographs of her and Bob and Damian. What I found interesting was the comment made by Cindy accompanying the images. While celebrating Bob’s global impact, cherishing their son, and expressing their love for “The Gong”, she also reminisced about the times she and Bob shared, listing several locations: “from 56 Hope Road to your mother’s home in Delaware and Miami, New York, Oakley Street in London, The Bahamas, Trinidad, and beyond.”
MARRIED TO RITA
I read the tribute and appreciated her openly celebrating Bob’s birthday. But I questioned the necessity of listing the places she had been with him, including his residence (56 Hope Road) and his mother’s house. After all, at that time, he was married to Rita, who remained with him until his death.
The following morning, before leaving for work, I shared Cindy’s post on my Instagram and Facebook platforms and asked my followers and friends to share their opinions regarding the listing of places Cindy had been to with Bob. While in my car, still in my driveway, I got what would have been the first of several calls that day regarding the post. It was a female friend vigorously defending Cindy and her right to share her memories and her story.
The conversation continued while I was on my way to work (using the Bluetooth in my car, of course), during which another female friend called, expressing similar sentiments. I merged the calls, and both women, in unison, staunchly defended Cindy. When I reached the office, another female friend called me, expressing her disapproval of Cindy’s remarks, saying it was inappropriate to list all those locations, especially Bob’s house and his mother’s. A nurse who works at the medical centre where I practise shared the same view: that Cindy is “out of order”.
Later that morning, I checked my social media pages, and to my surprise, there were hundreds of comments under each post. People flocked to them like vultures to a carcass, picking at Cindy’s remarks and feasting on the multitude of opinions shared in the comments sections. Many who had not commented on my page in ages were suddenly coming in from the cold, and having so much things to say while savouring the mix up, mix up. Some defended Cindy. Some thought her post was disrespectful to Rita. Some thought it was disrespectful to Cindy’s present husband. Many expressed the opinion that Cindy was “in her feelings” because her presence in the Bob Marley movie One Love was minimal and that she had a sense of entitlement and was seeking attention.
SIDE CHICK
What struck me most about the responses was the expression of the diversity of ways in which relationships are viewed. Some criticised Bob for his multitude of extramarital relationships, including “outside” children, while some made disparaging remarks about Cindy because of her involvement with him. Some viewed Cindy as a “side chick”, while others legitimised her “up front” relationship with Bob.
The real situation is that Bob and Rita’s marriage was anything but conventional. Rita had Sharon, her first child, before her relationship with Bob. When they got married, he adopted her and gave her his name. Bob and Rita went on to have three children together: Cedella, David (‘Ziggy’) and Stephen, in that order. Stephen was born in April 1972, and two other children, Robert and Rohan, were born the following month to two different women. A third “outside” child, Karen, was born in 1973.Then, in 1974, Rita gave birth to her fifth child, Stephanie. Bob was not her father, but he gave her his name. Subsequently, Bob produced at least three more children, Julian, Ky-Mani and Damian, with other women, with even more claiming him to be the father of their offspring. Apparently, Bob’s Rastaman vibration resonated strongly with the ladies.
Many women would never tolerate their spouse having other women, or children with them, during their union. Rita did. Many men, even while playing the field, would never tolerate their woman engaging in intimacy with another man or, worse, conceiving for one. Bob did. So maybe Rita’s children were okay with Cindy’s birthday greeting. Right?
THE REAL QUEEN
It does not appear so.The following day, Ziggy, Rita’s elder son, posted a photograph of his mother on his Instagram page, and commented on her taking a bullet in her head (she was also shot and wounded when Bob was shot at his residence in 1976) and displaying loyalty to his father, and referred to her as “one in a billion billion #rideordie wife”. His sister and Rita’s eldest daughter, Sharon, commented on his post that no woman can walk in her mother’s shoes, referring to her as “the real QUEEN”. Her sister Cedella shared Ziggy’s post, began her comment with “No woman no cry”, referred to her mother taking a bullet, and ended with“#disrespectnahhgoworkwidus.” The clapback of Rita’s three eldest children, hailing her as a top-rankin’ wife, further added to the “mix-up” as they appeared to be a message to Cindy to simmer down.
Some people have expressed dismay at the excoriation Cindy has received in comments sections across the Internet. I agree that some are cruel and uncalled for. But here’s the thing: once you put your business out there on social media, you become fair game. In my opinion, Cindy knew what she was doing. She knew her comments would stir it up and catch a fire. The buzz was all about Bob Marley and the movie One Love, and her gushing shout-out to Bob shifted the attention and dialogue to her and her relationship with him.