The essence of misconduct
IT’S TIME to take another vacation in Apocrypha, our favourite Fantasyland beyond the clouds.
This time we find both political leaders squirming on the horns of a dilemma. Results of recent elections for Apocrypha’s Local Government Authorities were close. Apocrypha’s political parties, Opposition Promises Not Performance (PNP) and governing Just Lazy People (JLP) both claimed victory based on convenient metrics.
Before the dust on that confusion settled senior officials of either side were exposed making egregiously inappropriate statements. Prospective PNP general election candidate, Menace Madcows, was caught on video explicitly supporting scamming while JLP Cabinet Minister, Everhard Warmonger, committed to ensuring that a winning candidate couldn’t have influence over public funds.
Suddenly, Party Leaders AndRue Polemess and Bark Balding were in a mad scramble to be first to react. Bark was THAT race’s clear winner. He disqualified Menace from candidacy. Shortly thereafter, AndRue sacked Warmonger. But Apocrypha wasn’t satisfied. Public calls to do more systemically grew louder. For once Bark and AndRue had the same problem so they consulted Oma D’unn together.
Remember Oma? He’s a retired politician who, although like a moon (bright only in the dark), owned a successful consultancy where he solved political problems by parable. Oma told them to hire a caddie. They looked puzzled so he told them a story of two golfers.
“To his astonishment, in a friendly, local golf tournament, Clifford arrives at the last hole with a one stroke lead over Dennis who is paired with him. Clifford hits a perfect 300 yard drive dead centre fairway. Dennis then obligingly shanks directly into the woods. Being a person of great sportsmanship Clifford helps Dennis look for his ball for ten minutes before Dennis finally accepts the penalty stroke. He drops his ball.
“Clifford returns to the fairway; takes his second shot. Again, it’s nearly perfect, settling five feet from the pin. Victory is in sight for Clifford!
“All of a sudden, from the woods, he hears Dennis yell ‘Found it!’ followed by the crack of club striking ball. Dennis’ shot is perfect and rolls right into the hole. This places Clifford on the horns of a dilemma. Does he allow Dennis to count the shot or does he take Dennis’ ball out of his pocket and call the cheater out on his lie?”
Neither AndRue nor Bark understood. Oma explained caddies saved golfers from getting into trouble by handling tasks like balls searching. A similar result comes in politics when independent misconduct restraints are legally entrenched. Until then, both parties will continue outdoing each other’s contemptible utterances. Currently, both operate in a system that allows them to do and say anything without real consequence.
Back home in the Land of Woodwind and Mouthwater, who was on the campaign platform with Dennis Meadows as he incited an audience to “chop”? Did they expressly or tacitly aid and abet? What subsequent action was taken before viral video publicity days later?
Similarly Everald Warmington’s history of verbal abuse and limitless cantankerousness makes it clear beyond peradventure there’s NO WAY he could so publicly, so often behave so crassly, so abusive of public trust without “back-a-tive” including a system that allows unchecked misconduct until it becomes too politically damaging. How many others engage in similar practice but less publicly?
The measure of integrity is how we behave when nobody is looking. Suppose there had been no viral video?
It’s time we stop acquiescing to this rotten political system. Don’t be tricked into accepting two sacrificial lambs; breathing sighs of relief that tribes are equally affected; and allowing lazy, sycophantic whataboutery to permit the system to perpetuate itself. THIS is why constitutional reform is Jamaica’s most important issue today. Issues like roads and water, although material for phony political pandering, are secondary. Genuine Constitutional reform can prevent a Minister of Roads from treating our money as his and offering it to an unelected political crony. Genuine Constitutional Reform can create systemic accountability making promises enforceable and ensuring actual attention to roads and water.
We must insist on new governance systems that elevate our politics by presenting options for holding politicians accountable beyond voting for MP alone every five years. Today we beg political leaders to hold their own party members accountable. That’s humiliating, unsustainable and must stop.
Don’t accept a Black “ceremonial” King substituting for a White “ceremonial” King as Constitutional Reform. Don’t be fooled by politicians’ favourite Game of Misdirection a.k.a. Reform without Change. Insist on more fundamental change than just T-shirt colour.
Peace and Love.