Contributors treated like football fans
THE SAMENESS of local media offerings has the potential to trigger a book reading revival.
I belong to the age of rotary phones and horse drawn carriages so, when I use the word “media”, I really mean radio. Radio used to be entertaining starting with Desmond Chambers (Alan Magnus’ mentor who doubled as a horseracing commentator); continuing with locally written and produced dramas within variety shows until the midday news; then it was one of the non-singing Winstons ( Barnes/ Williams) or Charlie Babcock (“The Cool Fool with the Live Jive”)/El Numero Uno on afternoon music radio. No infomercials or promos disguised as interviews allowed.
Saturday mornings on JBC Radio were special once Errol Thompson (E.T.) arrived in the 1970s. E.T. brought his friend “Squeaky” as co-host. Gladstone (“Gladdy D.C.”) Wilson took over for the afternoon show interspersed with live horseracing. RJR/JBC each used their own duos of knowledgeable analysts/race callers.
Sunday afternoons were old hits time!
Today everything on radio is talk, talk, talk. The great Winston Barnes, whose mantra was “more music; less talk” would be mortified. The shows are all the same although
they masquerade as different. The presenters, with few notable exceptions, are repetitive, dull and boring. And often loud!
You talk too much
You worry me to death
You talk too much
You even worry my pet
You just talk...
Talk too much
Today’s radio talk shows remind me of one of Haemorrhoid’s shaggy dog tales that highlighted his pet peeve namely Office Managers who shovelled “piles and piles” of files onto his desk.
“A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers he has wandered off course and is hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man on the ground. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
‘Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?’
The man below says, ‘Yes, you are in a hot air balloon about thirty feet above this field.’
‘You must be an accountant,’ says the balloonist.
‘Yes I am’ replies the man. ‘And how did you know that?’
‘Well’ says the balloonist, ‘what you tell me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone.’
The man below says, ‘You must be a manager.’
‘Well, yes I am’ replies the balloonist, ‘how did you know?’
‘Well’, says the accountant, ‘you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect my immediate help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.’”
I remembered that story while listening to the complaint by a caller to one of the morning radio talk shows named “Willie”. Willie complained of having to wait 15 minutes on hold before getting to speak on air. He reminded the host he was spending credit while, in his opinion, earlier callers were given too much time especially repeat callers who seem to have a direct hotline (no pun intended) to the studio. He accused the host of having little consideration for waiting callers while on-air callers were encouraged to warble on.
The host was more defensive than apologetic but did make what sounded like a superficial promise to do something about it.
Do what?
In 1960, New Orleans singer, Joe Jones, recorded YouTalkToo Much for New Orleans based Ric Records. The song was originally written by Fats Domino’s brother-in-law, Reginald Hall and was a staple of Jones’ club act after getting it from Fats. He “forgot” he’d previously recorded a version for Roulette Records. After a legal spat, Roulette purchased the Master from Ric. Hall and Jones are jointly credited as songwriters on the Roulette release.
The proliferation of talk shows of every description lack creativity and compassion. These programmes should recognise there’s no show to sell to advertisers/sponsors without callers. Why should callers pay for the privilege of being commercially exploited?
Radio stations could at least find ways to make calls free or inexpensive. Surely, during the airing of the first call, Producers can take other callers’ numbers and call them back when it’s their turn?
These days, failing to acknowledge or, worse, devaluing callers’ contribution to radio’s sustainability is the sort of abuse they might expect if they wore Manchester United jerseys in public. A friend recently confirmed this:
“For an experiment, my son has been wearing a different Manchester United top daily for two weeks. So far he’s been spat at, verbally abused, and punched.
God knows what will happen to him when he leaves the house….”
Peace and Love