Is he giving me ‘bun’?

Dear Pastor, I enjoy listening to your show. I don’t go to bed until your show is finished. I am not a Jamaican, but I am married to a Jamaican man.

He does not like to live in America, but we have our own home there. And we have one here. So I continue to work in America. I plan to retire in Jamaica.

I am faithful to my husband. He said he is faithful to me. I try to call him different hours at nights and he is always home. So I guess nobody is there with him.

He calls me before he goes to bed sometimes, and he tells me that he is pretending that I am by his side in bed.

He has a helper who is 15 years older than himself. He is always talking about her and sometimes I feel jealous. I don’t want him to know that I am jealous.

She keeps the place tidy and his clothes are always properly done. The only thing that I have seen at the house was a rag that was not his. I threw it into the garbage bin, but I did not ask who was the owner of it.

There is a good side about not being there with him. Whenever I go to see him, it is like having a honeymoon again. He is always ready for me.

Pastor, he doesn’t know that I have checked his phone and I haven’t seen any rude messages from any girl to him.

We have been married for 11 years, but are apart from each other for three years. He has four children, but they are living in America.

I have two and they are living in America also. Once I asked him if he hasn’t seen any girl that he is tempted to have sex with.

He said yes, but she is right here with him, and he was talking about me. I repeated, “Any other?”, and he said “Don’t ask me that question”.

Does that mean that he has seen other girls? You are my company at nights, Pastor. Keep up the good work.

E.W. Dear E.W., May I suggest that you stop giving your husband the impression that you do not trust him. Don’t ask him questions about other women.

You are giving him the impression that you believe that he is having affairs. So stop harassing him by the questions you ask.

The question is: Do you really want your relationship to work? I am sure you do.

You should stop snooping around and going through his phone and feeling jealous over the helper.

If you do not want him to have a helper, then you should come to Jamaica and run your own home and take care of him.

You found a rag that you believed that does not belong to him; you can’t be sure that it was not his.

But whether it was his or not, you threw it away and he didn’t ask you for it, so that should be the end of it. Pastor