Good advice from Miss Kitty
Every once in a while, a conversation starts on social media that gets many people riled up, and whether or not you participate, you cannot miss the exchange. One such discussion started on Nationwide’s popular afternoon programme, the ‘Miss Kitty Couple’s Court’.
A listener sent in for Miss Kitty’s advice explaining that she had been in a relationship for more than 10 years with a man, who she treated very well, giving him all the ‘husband perks’ – cooking his meals, washing and ironing his clothes, etc – with the hope that this would lead to marriage. The man eventually left her and was married to another young woman in a matter of months.
Miss Kitty, in her usual colourful fashion, stated that this woman shouldn’t have invested so much in the relationship if there was no reciprocity. Some of her comments, like “Boyfriend must eat out of styrofoam” and “Boyfriend must not get every sex”, got very passionate responses, especially from men. She went on to state that some of the things that some women do should be reserved for their husband, because some of the non-committed men will take advantage and leave.
I purposely haven’t said anything about the whole ordeal, and while I agree with Miss Kitty’s overall sentiment about reciprocity, I do believe that the conversation turned ridiculous with some of the comments that were made. I would like to address the initial scenario.
From what this woman told Miss Kitty, it seems that she was not fulfilled in her relationship. She was doing most of the heavy lifting, trying to convince this man that she’s wife material. He clearly didn’t have a problem with marriage; he just didn’t want to marry her.
STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS
In so many relationships, the woman is ready to get married and she is just waiting for her man to catch up. Instead of waiting and assuming that he’s just slow, communicate. Marriage is not something that one partner decides, it should be mutual.
BEING A DOMESTIC GODDESS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
No matter how many times we hear that the way to man’s heart is through his stomach, being a great housekeeper is not enough. Of course, they enjoy the convenience of having all their needs taken care of, but that’s not all. Talk to him, see where he is, so you can see if you’re both in the same place as a couple.
DON’T BE AFRAID IT TAKES TWO
Even with all the best intentions, some relationships just don’t work. Instead of killing yourself trying to make it work, let go. Don’t invest your time and effort in something that you know from the start simply is not sustainable.
For some of us, being single is just too hard and sad, but so is being in a relationship. We have to decide what we want, what we can live with and if those things are cohesive. Sometimes it’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.