The Star (Jamaica)

Boyfriend dumped me because I’m broke

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Dear Pastor, I am a 23-year-old female and my boyfriend recently dumped me because I’m not making enough money.

I am from a destitute family. I started working at a very early age. I was only supposed to be a summer worker, but I performed well and they decided to keep me at the store since they needed the help and I needed the money for school.

The store was owned by my aunt and her partner. After the summer ended, they spoke with my mother, asking her if she’d allow me to move in with them, since they lived closer to my school and I’d continue to work for them after school and on weekends. My mother agreed.

Everything started going well for a while. I was going to school every day and my grades picked up. Then, things took a turn for the worse.

I was given 15 minutes to reach to the store after school dismissed and I literally had to work seven days per week, because the store opened on Sundays.

In addition to that, very unfortunat­e things started happening to me at the house.

I didn’t do so well in the CSEC examinatio­ns but was given a second chance by some Christian persons and I excelled.

So now I’m working full-time and I am sending myself to evening classes to obtain some more CXC subjects, with the hope of enrolling in UTech next year.

I’m always well put together and I have excellent customer service skills. Though I love what I do and where I do it, I work really long hours and still barely make enough money to go back to work and send myself to school.

My now ex-boyfriend and I were dating for a few months. I never asked him for anything and he never offered.

I stayed faithful to him and cared for him to the best of my ability. I worked and had classes every day, except Sundays. So, I used Sundays to cook for him. Dear W, You are a remarkable young woman. And this boyfriend that you had does not understand that it is unlikely that he would find another woman to fit into your shoes.

This man has not been good to you. He has been inconsider­ate, mean and ungrateful. He should be ashamed of himself.

HE THREW A TANTRUM

One week I didn’t have enough money to buy groceries to prepare dinner and asked him if he could contribute; he literally threw a tantrum.

I was so embarrasse­d. He has never really been kind to me. He’s always complainin­g about something or yelling at me for the least.

Recently, he told me that I’m an amazing person with a good heart, but he can’t be in a relationsh­ip with me anymore because I don’t earn enough money to invest in a serious relationsh­ip.

He needs someone who is financiall­y stable and can help him to buy a house and start his family.

Pastor, you can’t even imagine how I felt. I felt dirty, unworthy and worthless. But I respected his decision and walked away.

I still prepare his dinner to this day without his contributi­on, even though I’m fully aware that he doesn’t want me.

Pastor, I think I need profession­al help. It feels like I’m going mad.

I need a better job in order to comfortabl­y send myself to classes, care for myself and my mother. I don’t want handouts. Please, help me to elevate myself. W

You are a wonderful woman. But at the same time, you are naïve. You have to work on your self-confidence. This man has trampled on your self-confidence and now you feel that you can’t get ahead without him.

I am here to tell you that you have to consider him dead. He wants to continue to use you. He doesn’t believe in helping women. You don’t need him, and I want you to see that. You must trust Almighty God to help you. I will be praying for you, and I ask Christians everywhere to remember you in prayer.

If anyone should offer you a better job, I will get in touch with you immediatel­y.

Pastor

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