My marriage is like hell

Dear Pastor, I need prayer, and loads of it. I have faith in God, and I pray every day for him to strengthen it. But, I am at my wits end with problems from my husband and I don’t know what else to do. He hardly comes home. He is involved in so many unjust things. I am 33, and he is 52 years old. He is the second man for me.

When I met him he was a gentleman, but over the years he has changed so much that it worries me. Sometimes I feel like putting a stop to my life. Honestly, I do, but then there is a voice that tells me no. He tells me that he loves me every day. His action tells me more than his words.

Pastor, people can carry a lot inside their head, and when others look at you from outside, they wouldn’t know exactly what’s running through your head. Well, I am such a person. It’s the first I have ever told someone exactly how I am feeling, and even spoken about my problem. I cry so much, only God knows how I feel.

I have been married for eight years, but it is a marriage of pure hell. Sometimes I don’t sleep for nights, and in the wee hours of the night, just to get away from my troubles, I drive all around. I know that it is dangerous, but this is one of the times that I say to myself, “it doesn’t matter if I die”. I only wish I could get some help just to be at peace, knowing that someone cares for me. As I am writing to you now, I would very much love to get a reply from you. I would like my life to be strengthened and to have courage and faith in the Lord. Thank you very much for reading my letter. J.P.