Pimped out by my mother

Dear Pastor, I am 48, but the problem I have started from as far back as when I was 18.

I obeyed my parents, never had bad girlfriends, never had a boyfriend; they never had problems with me coming home late from school and my parents really loved me.

I had three brothers and two sisters; I am the oldest. One of the girls got pregnant at the age of 16 because she was always running away from home with friends and sleeping with various men.

I was always going to church. I was involved in many youth programmes at church and the devil didn’t like this, so he started setting traps for me.

The first one was when my sister got pregnant. She did not know who the father was and she did not want to call the names of the men she slept with, so mom had to turn to her friends for help.

One of the girls told my mom that my sister spent most nights at a man’s house whenever she ran away. So my mother went looking for this man in Montego Bay.

One of my mother’s friends found a man who lives in Montego Bay by the same name, so she told mom and she sent to call him.

When he came to the house, my parents and my sister sat around the table and had a long chat.

After he left, I asked my sister if he was her baby’s father and she said no, she was seeing him for the first time.

REGULAR VISITS

The man kept paying regular visits to the house and I was thinking to myself that she was lying to me.

One night I was in my room and woke up just in time to hear my dad saying to my mom, “How yuh fi mek di man keep on coming here and him seh a nuh him a di babyfather?”

My mother replied saying, “Him seh mi fi give (my name) to him.”

I could not sleep that night and in the morning I got up and went to school as if nothing happened because I did not want my parents to know I overheard them.

My mother allowed this man to come every night, stopped me from going to church and when he came by, she would tell me to go and chat to him.

I did not know anything about sex or babies. My mother told me a plane carried my little brother home when we were sleeping. Now, I look back and wonder why I was so foolish to believe that.

Anyway, I got pregnant and dropped out of church. I had my first child for him. The man lost his job as a waiter before my daughter was born.

His father bought him a car three years later and he started working as a taxi driver. A year later, he met a 75-year-old Canadian white woman.

At the time, we were living in St James. He started lying, sleeping out, and only coming home to shower and leave.

I knew something was wrong as he was telling me the car was giving him a lot of trouble, and many times it broke down and he had to sleep in it.

I started watching him and trailed him to where this woman was staying. I waited until he went into the house and knocked on the door. He came out and almost died when he saw me.

I introduced myself to the woman and there she told me, before his face, that he lied to her saying he was living alone and his mom had his children.

The woman went back to Canada, but kept on coming back to him. She bought him a car and a truck. This is what he told me.

After that I could tell whenever she was in Jamaica, as he always stayed out, and his sister would ‘pinch me’ and tell me the white woman is here.

FIVE CHILDREN

I have ended up having five children for this man. He kept sleeping with different girls and he would even bring them to the house, and these girls abused me. He also got one of the girls pregnant, so I left him.

This man ended up with 30 children. I then went to Kingston to find a job. But eventually, I went back to rural Jamaica and through Pen-Pal, I met a white man who came to Jamaica and married me, but I now need a divorce.

S.