RULES FOR FRIENDS AND LOVERS

Your best friend is going through a hard time with her relationship. She really needs someone to talk to. She calls you and you are heading over to her house to help her. On your way to see your best friend, your boyfriend calls to say that he wants to spend some time with you, chill and watch a movie. What do you do? Who do you choose? How do you decide which one of them takes precedence?

Relationships are complicated and it’s not always easy to maintain boundaries or even just to set rules. There are several variables that affect relationships and sometimes it’s not always easy to maintain the balance. When it comes to navigating all your relationships, it can be challenging because it’s not always possible to keep everyone happy. Here are some guidelines:

COMMUNICATE

The best way to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts is to communicate. Let all the parties know what is happening, how it affects them, and what you plan to do about it. Be clear, consider their feelings, and help them understand your decision. For the person that you are turning down in the moment, leave open the possibility of rescheduling and followup.

PRIORITISE

Not all your relationships are at the same level of importance. It helps to know how they stack up. For example, a call from your mother may take a higher priority than a call from a co-worker. If you know where everyone stands, it will be easier to decide how to deal when they all need your attention at the same time.

MANAGE YOUR TIME AND AFFECTION

It’s very easy to forget your friends when you get caught up in the romance of your intimate relationship. But try to make time for them as well. It will give you some variety in your life and a chance to miss your lover so you can enjoy each other that much more when you see each other again.

SET BOUNDARIES

This is the most effective tool that you can use to manage your relationships. Let your co-workers know that if it’s not an emergency, you are not available to them after certain hours. Same rule can apply to your friends. You always want to make time for your primary relationship, and that should be non-negotiable. You should be in control of how you share your time, so make the best of it.

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