Pregnant for a ‘jail bud’

Dear Pastor, I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend. I am working in a store. I met a man who shops at the store and we became friends. He is living with his relatives, so I only visit him sometimes on Sundays. Where he lives is not convenient for me to sleep over, so we rented a place for ourselves. He found a one-room place, but I don’t like it. It is not in a good area. Someone saw me with him and told my sister that I should not have anything to do with him because he has been to prison for stealing. I asked him about it and he told me how Dear G.R., I cannot encourage you to have an abortion. In fact, I would encourage you to give up the child you are carrying for adoption if you have decided to leave the father and if he does not want the child. But please, do not terminate your pregnancy. Perhaps if you were to discuss this problem with your parents, although they are poor, they will encourage you to carry the pregnancy and to come home. This man lied to you about himself. He should not have done so. But so many men lie about themselves, and it is not always easy for a young woman to know whether or not the men are telling the truth. Perhaps this man was very embarrassed because he went to prison. Perhaps he felt that if you it happened.

He was not in prison for long. He is 27 years old, but when I met him, he told me that he was 24; and now he is telling me that he has two children and he did not tell me that before.

I don’t know what to do because I am two months pregnant and this friend of mine is calling him a ‘jail bud’.

I feel disappointed in him. He is the second man in my life. I don’t know if I will ever be able to trust him.

I am even thinking of doing an abortion and going back to live with my poor mother and siblings. Until now he can’t tell me why he had to lie to me.

G.R. had known the truth about him, you would not have associated yourself with him.

But there is always room for forgiveness, and if he had told you the truth, you would have been in a position to decide whether or not to continue the relationship.

He has fathered two children. Is he supporting these children? How much money does this man earn? If you were to carry the pregnancy he would be the father of three children.

You thought that you would be his first babymother, so I can understand how disappointed you are. But I repeat, don’t have the abortion.

You have to make up your mind what you really want to do, concerning where you are going to live. Do so early, but let there be no fuss or fight.

I hope he would not get physical with you by insisting that you cannot leave because you are carrying his child.

It would not be easy for you to forgive him, but power to you if you are able to do so.

Pastor