I’m addicted to masturbating

Dear Pastor I’m 22 years old. I’ve been reading your columns since I was 11. My mom died when I was eight.

I just came to the realisation that I have an addiction, and I think it’s because of what I experienced as a child.

I’m addicted to masturbation. As a child, I was molested by my stepbrother and my stepmom’s nephew on separate occasions.

It all started when I was in grade seven. I remembered the nephew playing with my clitoris. It felt good, I must admit.

I started acting out at school and my form teacher took me aside and asked what was wrong with me, and I told her everything that was going on, and she took me to the guidance counsellor.

The guidance counsellor and I spoke and they did the necessary things to get me away from the boys. They weren’t charged.

I moved to live with my mother’s family and one day while I was showering using the hose, I bent down and I was spraying the water from the hose washing my vagina; it felt good and reminded me of the experience I had.

I stopped. Then another time I said to myself, ‘I’m going to do it but this time I won’t stop’. I think that was the first time I had an orgasm. My eyes rolled over.

It felt really great and from that day until today, I’ve never stopped playing with myself. I even got myself a sex toy, a vibrating bullet, and the most I can go without using it is two days.

I have a boyfriend. He lives overseas. He’s not aware of my addiction. As a matter of fact, nobody knows.

I can’t gain an orgasm through penetration alone, hence he pleases me by giving me oral. I’m ashamed of the habit and would like to stop. I think that you should not endeavour to stop, if that is really what you would like to do.

I am only trying to say that you should not condemn yourself because you masturbate.

I can send you the name and address of a psychologist who I know will be glad to counsel you and not condemn you.

You must understand that you will have to spend many sessions with the psychologist. You will not overcome this habit overnight.

You have been very open with me in this letter. When you go to see the psychologist, your attitude should be the same.

You are using a sex toy. Perhaps you need to put I need counselling.

I don’t know if you could refer me to a counsellor or counsel me yourself. I’m not rich but I’m willing to pay to get help. I’m also a bit confused as to what I want to do with my life.

I need your help. Please. I look forward to your response. Thank you.

I.S. that sex toy away if you are really serious about overcoming masturbation.

When you are tempted to masturbate, try to focus on something else like getting involved in sports and volunteering your time in assisting in community affairs.

But I will not be naive. These activities will not totally take away the desire to masturbate, but they will help to keep your mind occupied.

As I said before, I will send you the name and number of a psychologist. After you have received the information from me, make the appointment to see him/her.

Pastor