Married boyfriend preventing me from becoming a Christian

Dear Pastor, I am having a problem. I am 40 years old. I became involve with a man 18 years ago. While we were together he got married to another woman, but we never left each other because our love for each other is genuine. I was going to school, and he helped me right through. He also helped me to get a job. He also gave me money to pay down on an apartment. He did not hide coming to see me. But he only sleeps at my house when his wife is away. She has one child for him.

My friends ask me when I am going to get married. I told them that I don’t know. I am getting much older now, and a few years ago I told him that I would like to have a baby. We stopped using protection, but I have not gotten pregnant. So I am thinking of adopting one of my brother’s children.

My brother told me that I should leave my man and find a younger guy and have sex with him so that he can get me pregnant. But, I am not going to do that. I would prefer not to get the experience of having a child. It is not every man who would buy an apartment for a woman he didn’t marry and have her name on the title.

One day I joked with him and told him that I want to leave him for another man; he told me that I would have to leave Jamaica. I was only testing him. I am in a good job. Recently, I started to go to church and the only thing that is preventing me from making a full commitment in church is this man.

Sometimes I want to tell this man to go, but I don’t believe that he will go. Please help me with your advice.

M.H.