Living in a fairy-tale world

Dear Pastor, I am 52 years old. I got married when I was 25 years old. My husband and I have been together all these years. My husband is 10 years older than I and he has done well as a businessman. He keeps himself in very good shape. He doesn’t look his age. I don’t have the trouble that many women have. The only time I can’t get my husband to do anything is on a Saturday.

While some men would be making excuses for helping their wives, my husband would get up in the morning and even help me with breakfast. But on a Saturday, after he takes his walks, he is glued to the television and sometimes he goes out with his friends to play dominoes or to the rural area with his friends.

He tells me everything, so he says. I don’t know how to take him seriously sometimes. He would be shaving and I say something and he would say that is how the girls like to see him. We are very close. When I told my friends that my husband tells me everything, they can’t believe.

Some years ago, my husband told me that he picked up a girl to give her a ride and when he got to the destination, she wouldn’t get out of his car. She told him that she has time; she can spend the day with him. He had to go to his office, so he told her alright, stay in the car. He went into his office and told his secretary to call the guard. He sent the guard out to tell the girl to get out of the car, otherwise he was going to call the police. The girl cursed the guard and left.

I asked him if he didn’t have to go to work whether he would have taken her somewhere and make love, and he said maybe. I did not bother to comment because I shouldn’t have asked him that question if I didn’t want to hear the truth. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. How come I am not jealous as some of my friends? Their husbands or their boyfriends can’t talk to other women.

Do you think something is wrong with me because I am not jealous? If I want to go abroad, my husband allows me and he makes sure that I have enough money. All my children are adults and my two girls told me that they would like to have husbands who are like their dad. Nothing bothers this man, and I don’t consider myself as the perfect wife.

Many times when we have sex, I asked him if he liked it and he tells me that I am getting better every day. Can a woman get better in her old age? – M.H. Dear M.H., I want to know what you are complaining about. You have nothing to worry about. You should be happy. Well, you are happy, so you shouldn’t behave as if you are living in a fairy-tale world. How many men would help their women with house chores, cook and take care of his household financially and not complain? I would say, not many.

This man is a good example to his children. That is why his daughters could say they would like their husbands to be like him. Some of you women love to tease men, but you have a good husband and he is not playing around. Why is it so difficult for you to accept that he is not playing with other women? Believe me, there are lots of men who don’t play. They are not running around. So, yours is like that.

You started out by saying that you are not a jealous woman; I want to believe you, but at the same time, you are wondering whether it is because you are a simple woman. No, you are not simple and you don’t need to be jealous. Jealousy destroys a good relationship, so enjoy your married life. May it last for many, many more years. Both of you seem to have a wonderful sex life, too. Develop more confidence in yourself. Your husband tells you that having sex with you is nice. It can only get better if you try harder. Since you are questioning him about it, try to see if you can spice it up. – Pastor