Keeping the SEX in SEXY

One of the most important factors of a relationship is the physical aspect – this can vary from displays of affection to actual sexual interaction. Being able to physically satisfy each other in a relationship directly affects the overall happiness of the couple. The reverse is also true; if a couple is unable to connect physically, it’s usually a sign that the relationship is in trouble. Some people are of the belief that sex and intimacy are not a priority and can be ignored, I disagree.

In 2017, the Huffington Post conducted a survey among popular therapists asking them why relationships usually end, and sexual issues were listed in the top three. Here are some of the factors that must be present in order to get the most out of your sexual relationship:

CHEMISTRY

Simply defined, chemistry is a connection, a bond or common feeling between two people. Sexually, it’s that thing that draws you to your partner that makes you want to be in their company, feel their touch. Basically, chemistry is that special ingredient that helps to keep the spark in your relationship.

COMPATIBILITY

Sexual compatibility is the extent to which a couple share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with their partner. Being sexually compatible can make or break the overall relationship, especially if the differences far outweigh the similarities.

COMMUNICATION

Open, honest communication is important to the success of every relationship. Sexually, communication is vital to keep the interest, the pleasure and the heat as a couple. This is the thing that so many couple struggle with because it’s not always easy to speak openly about sexual desires, but it’s so necessary. There are too many challenges that can come from making assumptions and having unexpressed expectations.

COMPROMISE

Compromise is an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. Sexual compromise can be an effective tool to help couples reach a middle ground, especially when they have conflict. Even with the effectiveness of compromise, it must be monitored because it can leave partners feeling that their needs are not being met. It should be the exception, not the rule.

CONSENT

Even after a couple has been together for a long time, consent is still necessary. There is a school of thought that once the commitment has been made, the ownership of the person’s body is transferred to their partner and there is an understanding of ‘perpetual consent’. Not only do I disagree with this thought process, but I think it lends itself to a very dangerous idea that takes away a person’s right to choose. In a loving, mutually respectful relationship, there is no such thing as perpetual consent.

At the end of the day, sex and intimacy are important, so work on the physical side of your relationship. It is a great way to keep some element of fun in your relationship, and it keeps you connected to each other. Let me put it this way: If the sex is good, it makes the other stuff seem worth it. So, go get your freak on.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or tweet me @drsexyann. Facebook: www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy

Website: www.drsexyann.com