I will never date a ‘loose’ woman

The Star (Jamaica) - - PASTOR -

Dear Pas­tor, I have been read­ing your col­umn quite fre­quently for many years. What does it mean to con­demn some­one? I re­mem­ber read­ing some­where in the Bible where it made men­tion of one see­ing a splin­ter in some­one’s eye, but not see­ing the log in one’s own. What does it mean to judge some­one? I know for sure that the Bible calls it a sin. Do they mean the ex­act thing from a bi­b­li­cal per­spec­tive?

I am quite un­sure be­cause I re­mem­ber some­one telling me that I am a con­dem­ner be­cause I would refuse to be in­volved with a girl if she had numer­ous sex­ual part­ners be­fore me. I can say that I still take that po­si­tion. Is it wrong for me to think like that? From what I have seen, per­sons have writ­ten to you over the years, and I must say that it is quite a dis­ap­point­ment to see the kind of women that are re­ally out there.

To be hon­est, I hope I will never get to know some of them. One of the things that bother me the most is that some of these women want a ‘good man’ in their life, but when they do get one, most of the times they are the ones who ruin the re­la­tion­ship. From what I have gath­ered from these ar­ti­cles, these good men are typ­i­cally ones who send their wives/lovers/girl­friends to school and end up re­gret­ting it later. You must be won­der­ing why I am wor­ry­ing about all these things and es­pe­cially if I am get­ting a good ed­u­ca­tion. I do not know if you re­mem­ber me but this is my third time writ­ing to you. I have more ques­tions for you, but I shall not make this ar­ti­cle any longer. I am look­ing for­ward to your re­ply.

F.L. Dear F.L., If a man is guilty of a crime, the state may con­demn that per­son to die or to serve a prison term. But, that per­son would have to be tried in court. The Bible, how­ever, warns that no one has the right to give “an un­favourable or ad­verse judge­ment on an­other” be­cause he or she be­lieves that the per­son has lived or is liv­ing a very loose life. Whether that per­son is in his or her judge­ment liv­ing an im­moral life, no one has the right to con­demn that per­son.

It is ev­i­dent that you have set your­self to judge peo­ple’s char­ac­ter, and whether you know it or not, you are wrong to do so be­cause you are a sin­ner like any­one else. You may think that you are right­eous, but you are not. And that is why the Bible says: “You hyp­ocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to re­move the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Please, re­mem­ber that you are not a saint, and although you think that your sins are not as bad as other peo­ple’s, you are still a sin­ner, doomed for hell un­less you re­pent.

The ques­tion is, why do you put up your­self as a judge? If you do not wish to marry a woman who has been with other men, that is your choice. But, please do not be­lieve that women who have had re­la­tion­ships with dif­fer­ent men be­fore they got mar­ried should be con­demned. In fact, you are out of or­der for even think­ing that way. Je­sus did not con­demn the woman at the well. He told her to “Go and sin no more.” She had gone to bed with many men.

Peo­ple make mis­takes, but God is a for­giv­ing God. You have made mis­takes too, so in­stead of con­demn­ing those you think are bad and worth­less sin­ners, look in the mir­ror and see whose im­age you are look­ing at, and then ask God to help you con­trol your tongue.


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