My mother does not like me

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 23 years old and I have two children. My mother does not like me. She is the reason why I have ended up with two children. I did not know why she hated me until my children’s father and I broke up after eight years of our relationship. It is a long story, but I will try and cut it short.

This guy and I were dating from I was 16 years old. Everything was going well. I became pregnant when I was 17 years old, and by the time I was 18 years old, I had the baby. One of my sisters was also pregnant at the time. She was only 15 years old. About five months after I had the baby, my babyfather and I got into a fight over nonsense. My mother was present and instead of her helping, she called a crowd and told the people that my boyfriend was beating me.

PUT OUT OF THE HOUSE

Rumour spread around that my babyfather was also the father of my sister’s child. I believed it at first, but he denied it. My sister is a ‘road runner’. My mother put me out of her house from I was 15 years old because I got into a fight with my sister. So, from age 15, I was living with this man. He schooled me and provided everything I needed, but the relationship was abusive.

When my child was about two years old, I found out that he was giving me ‘bun.’ I even caught him with the girl. I continued to remain calm, but as the years passed, I found out that he was still having an affair with the girl.

When my child was three years old, I got involved with a man he did not know. After the years of bad living and abuse, he found out about the man. He left me but later admitted to getting my sister pregnant. He suggested that I should do a DNA test to prove that it was his child. I told him that it didn’t matter to me because he couldn’t hurt me anymore or cause me to hate my sister because I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore. And whatever he did for me, I was grateful. I had nobody to talk to all these years because everything I told my mom, she told other people and she told him.

One time I made up my mind to leave this man and I ran away to stay in another parish. And would you believe that the man showed up there with my mother? She told him that I was at a family house in another parish. Right now, I am still involved with the other man, but he is living with his babymother. I am not looking for a serious relationship with him. I want to go back to church and give my life to God because it is more than once this man almost killed me. And it is not many Jamaican women who have left a relationship alive.

I need your advice. I would also like you to help me to get a job although I am far away from you. May God bless you and continue to do your work.

D.M.