The Star (Jamaica)

Babyfather treats me like crap

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Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationsh­ip with my boyfriend from the age of 17 and I am now 23.

When we met, I was going to college. When he and I started talking, he was the nicest person I had ever met.

He bought me a phone, but he always knew my whereabout­s, even when he was supposed to be at work.

I got suspicious and asked him how he always knew my whereabout­s.

He didn’t answer.

One day, he asked if he could borrow some money from me and I told him yes, but he would have to follow me to the bank.

I only wanted his company, but the way he was behaving,

I changed my mind and told him no, which led to a huge argument.

We broke up that day. I went to my mom and I was broken, because I loved this man dearly.

He wouldn’t take my calls, so I would have to call his cousin to check up on him until in 2015, when I missed my period and I told him.

I went by his house and I did a pregnancy test which came back positive; I started

to cry.

After that evening, he started to act differentl­y. After visiting the doctor, I found out that I was six weeks pregnant. He started to say that the child did not belong to him.

He said everything before my parents. His sister was telling me to get an abortion.

He shared things we spoke about personally to her. That night I was so hurt, I even started to bleed.

When I went to do a blood test, he told me that he would give me the money to have an abortion done and then tell everyone that I had a miscarriag­e.

When I had clinic appointmen­ts, he would not come and support or comfort me. He never rubbed my belly or showed any affection.

I will never keep the child from him, but the child will know everything that happened.

When I gave birth, he did not put his name on the birth paper. I used half of my pay to ensure that it was.

I asked him for help to look about the baby’s passport and he refused; I eventually did it myself.

My son is now four. I started to work when he was only two months old and was earning $8,000 weekly.

Every time I ask my boyfriend for help to buy something pertaining to the baby, he got upset. I asked if he would help me buy a bigger bed.

He ignored me for about two days and has not slept at my house since then.

I bought a bigger bed by myself for the comfort of my child and me. I am currently getting $10,000 a month for the baby and each time he gets paid, he always say it’s short.

Due to circumstan­ces, I was forced to live with him for about two months. One night we were lying in bed together and about midnight, his phone rang and I heard the voice of a female.

He told me he would be back and he never returned until the following night. I got the number and contacted the woman, which caused a big argument.

We don’t go out as a family or anything. Whenever I ask him to increase the money for the baby, his mother says he’s giving what he can afford.

He has since stopped giving me money. I am sending my child to school without his help. I really love him, but I am confused. At times I talk to myself or curse myself.

I am now attending school to further my studies. I am feeling a lot of pain, physically and mentally. What should I do?

Anonymous

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