Girlfriend convinced I’m cheating

Dear Pastor

I am 27 years old and I am having a problem. Everybody I have talked to has told me to write to you. You see, Pastor, I am a one-woman man.

That does not mean that I have only had one woman in my life. But I have only had one woman at a time. But it seems to me that some women don’t believe that one man can only have one woman.

I am in the security business. All the women love me. Some of them literally throw themselves at me. I always have to say no, I have a woman. One co-worker gave the impression that she and I had something going.

When I spoke to her about it, she asked me if I didn’t love her and if I had gone ‘the other way’. I went home and my girlfriend asked me about her.

She said that she was confronted by someone who told her about it. Someone called her and told her that I had a woman at my workplace. I told her I would swear on the Bible that was not true. But she did not believe me.

Now, everywhere I go, my girlfriend questions me. I can’t deal with it. We have been together for two years. She wants to meet with the co-worker. I told her that was unnecessary.

Because I told her that, she believed the rumour. Sometimes I tell myself that if I did not love my girlfriend the way I do, I would have sex with my co-worker.

Here I am trying to be faithful with her and someone is trying to mess up our relationship.

SEARCHING MY BRIEFS

Pastor, I have read where men searched their women because they believed that they were cheating. I am ashamed to tell you that my girlfriend searches my briefs.

The first time she did it, I thought she was feeling horny and wanted to go bed right away, but it was not that.

I was late in coming home and she felt I had gone with another woman. I love her so much but I am tired of being accused of doing something I have not done.

I want my girlfriend to stop her jealous behaviour because if she does not, I am going to leave her. She is six years older than I am. But she is lovely and she does not have any children. When I met her I thought I had met the perfect woman.

But suddenly she is listening to what other people say, and warning me to make sure that I use condoms when I am playing around with other women. She and I don’t use condoms because we are trying to have a child.

Please for your advice.

B.J.

Dear B.J.,

Jealousy will surely destroy the relationship you are having with this woman. You say you are a one-woman man but your girlfriend does not believe that.

Somebody at your workplace wants the both of you to break up. Your co-worker who has offered herself to you is very hurt because you have rejected her.

Do you believe that she is the one who called your girlfriend and lied, saying that you have a woman in the company? I am not asking because I want you to ask her whether or not she did.

But if you had to tell her that you had a woman at home and she continued to make her advances, it is either her or one her friends who is trying to break up your relationship.

I want you to go easy on your girlfriend because it would be difficult for her to believe that someone could be so wicked at your workplace to tell such a lie on you.

So I must say to you, although she has now gone to the extreme to find out if you are having sex with any other woman by searching your underwear, please understand that she is trying to find out the truth.

Instead of quarrelling when she searches you, please assure her that it is not necessary for her to do so because you are not guilty. Don’t threaten to leave her. Stay with your woman. She is a good one.

Pastor