SEX Husband wants every day

Dear Pastor

I am now living in the United States. I decided to write you because I need your advice.

My husband and I are newly-weds. We were supposed to get married last September but due to the coronavirus, we moved our date forward. Because of that, we did not have time for marriage counselling like we wanted to.

After getting married, we got an apartment together. As a young couple, we don’t have much experience in life and relationship stuff. But we have made a commitment, so we ensured our relationship works and we both are happy.

However, sex is an issue. I get that we are young and we just got married, but I feel as if my husband always wants to do the ‘deed’.

Sometimes I wonder if he is addicted to sex. The problem is that it is always an issue if I should say that I am not in the mood or tired.

He is almost always in the

Dear S.M.,

You have written a very interesting letter and I could see how hard you have tried to satisfy the sexual needs of your husband. You have said a couple of times that both of you are young and don’t have much experience.

It is unfortunate that both of you were not able to attend premarital counselling. Perhaps the matter of sex would have been discussed.

According to what you have said, everything is good between your husband and yourself except this issue of the frequency of sexual intercourse. Your husband wants sex all the time and even when you are tired, he still demands it.

You are even wondering whether he is a sex addict. No, he is not. He loves it and you turn him on. However, he has to exercise self-control. You need to tell him that if he truly loves you, he should respect your feelings.

He should understand that it is not every time you will be in the mood for sexual intercourse.

On the other hand, you need to bear in mind that you can’t say no all the time. Perhaps when you say no, you may get him mood. He does not want to take no for an answer at any time. If I follow him, we would be having sex every day, and as much as time permits.

SEX SCHEDULE

It has come to the point where he actually made a schedule to have sex three times for the week. The schedule is not effective in my opinion, because he still ends up wanting to have sex on unscheduled days.

I try my best to compromise,

angry and he may force himself on you.

Some men don’t take no for an answer and your husband is like that. As I see it, both of you need to make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

DISCUSS YOUR PROBLEM

even putting my feelings aside and submitting like the Bible said, just so that he could be happy. I love this man very much.

But sometimes I wish he would not give me a hard time every single time he feels like he should have me and I am not feeling like it.

Also, I feel as if because he wants to have sex so often, I don’t get a chance to ‘want’ him and actually

If possible, do so in person to discuss your problem, and for counselling sessions on a whole. The schedule of having sex three days a week will not work.

Sex should be spontaneous, but please don’t misunderstand me. There are couples that have been married for years and because of their jobs, they could only have sex certain days of the week; primarily on weekends.

But for a young couple like you who see each other every day, having a schedule to have sex for three days will not work.

So make the appointment to see a counsellor, and remember that I will be willing to talk to both of you on the phone if that could be arranged.

Pastor seek him out sexually. He is always the one to do the seeking.

I wonder where he gets all this energy from because he works two jobs and one of them is so strenuous.

We are young so I would like to hear your thoughts and even get to talk to you over the phone, or if possible have a session with you. I will be looking forward to hearing for you.

S.M.