Three times my age and giv­ing me ‘bun’

The Star (Jamaica) - - Front Page -

Dear Pas­tor,

The other day I went into my boyfriend’s phone and I saw some text mes­sages be­tween him and an­other girl. I con­fronted him and he de­nied the whole thing.

I am so dis­ap­pointed in this man. We have been to­gether for three years. I am 20 years old and he is 60; I never ex­pected this.

I was the best thing that ever hap­pened to him. I am so hurt be­cause I put my whole heart and trust in this man. He sent her mes­sages ask­ing her if she en­joyed when they made love.

I asked him about it. He said that the girl told him that she dreamt that they had sex. I don’t be­lieve it at all.

There are so many things that were said in the text mes­sages be­tween them that I won’t men­tion. But can some­one be so dis­hon­est, even af­ter all the sac­ri­fices I made and the things that we went through?

He was not com­ing clean to me so I called her.

I told her to stay away from him. He quar­relled with me and said that the girl’s mother called him and asked him if he and her daugh­ter were in­volved in any­thing.

He has a son my age and he told the son that I went through his phone and took off his mes­sages, and that I deleted them. Now he has a pass­word on his phone when there wasn’t any on it.

W.D.

Dear W.D.,

I am as­sum­ing that you don’t trust this man and that is why you searched his phone. He is clearly a liar. Now that you know so much about him, what do you in­tend to do?

You are only 20 and you are with this 60-year-old man. You are up­set that he has a code on his phone. Why should you be up­set?

He does not want you to call his girl­friend any more.

He knows that you are cre­at­ing trou­ble for him. So he is try­ing to pre­vent you from read­ing his mes­sages and from keep­ing track of him.

Make up your mind about what you want to do with this re­la­tion­ship.

This man could be telling you what you want to hear and do­ing the same thing with the other woman. You have to make your own de­ci­sion. It does not ap­pear to me, how­ever, that this man is plan­ning to have a last­ing re­la­tion­ship with you.

Pas­tor

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