Don’t trust her just because she’s pretty

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to tell men that they should not always believe pretty girls, and they should not always want to have pretty girls by their side. Beautiful women can bring down a man.

I am 30 and I always liked pretty women, especially those who were of a light complexion. At one point in my life, I had three pretty girls and they knew about each other. When any of them started to fuss, I would warn them.

I inherited some money and I was able to take care of all of them. Every week, two of them wanted to do their hair and nails and I gave them the money.

The other was not very fussy. She wanted me to spend time with her, and even when I gave her money, she would remind me that I gave her money the week before.

So unknown to her, I was putting away her money, and when she needed something, I gave her much more than the other girls. I did not have to go to bed with her every week, either.

I cared for her more than the other girls. I never had sex with her without using condoms. This girl had ambition. She wanted to go back to school, but the others were ‘dancehall’ girls.

Once, I gave one of them money for her children. But instead of buying them food, she used the money to put a tattoo on her buttocks. I warned her, but it was too late.

She was very beautiful, but that was all she had.

Then I began to hear things about her that I did not like. Every opportunity she had, she went out with another man.

This girl almost got me into serious trouble so I tried to give her up, but she did not want to end the relationship without a fight. She began to stalk me. Once, I attended an event with the humble girl, and right there, the stalker wanted to fight her. I had to rough her up and threatened her. She even got pregnant and tried, and failed, to give me a ‘jacket’.

I ran her out of my life when she abused my mother. So I was down to two girls.

The other ‘bad girl’ promised that she would behave herself, but she wanted to get her money every week. I did so until I got a visa and left Jamaica and did not write to her. So, she did not know how to find me. I am now married to the woman who cared for me. She has been faithful to me. My father did not take care of me when I was born, but he left money and a house for me and that gave me a good start.

My wife is now going to college and is pregnant, and I am hoping to go to college myself after she graduates.

Some girls only like the ‘bling’. I say to all my Jamaican brethren, don’t have a relationship with a woman because of the way she looks. They should have women who are strong and ambitious. Be careful of women who want you to sleep with them and get your money.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

You have said many more things that I have withheld, and I have done so because you have learnt your lesson. You have changed, and I believe you. I hope that you would take very good care of your wife. You could have got yourself into a lot of trouble if you were not willing to turn around your life.

There are so many men who are like you, who believe that women of light complexion may make them better wives. You had three of them in your life and you know that one of them almost got you into serious problem.

Among them was a very smart one; she was not a gold-digger. So I am glad you were able to marry her and she is now furthering her education.

Take good care of your wife, my friend. Intelligent men should learn not to judge women by the colour of their skin. Some women are of light complexion and are very intelligent and educated, while others are not. Black is always beautiful.

Black girls should not try to bleach. They have what it takes. They stand out in any crowd. Whether a girl is of light complexion or her skin is black, if she is educated her man, and even her country, would be proud.

Let no woman be judged by the colour of her skin.

Pastor