Selling access to my moneymaking man

Dear Pastor,

I read your column every day but I have something on my mind. I met a man and all my problems, including those I have for over 15 years, were gone. I was always struggling financially and he told me what to do with $300, and after I did it, everywhere I went for a job, I got it. Every day I can eat Kentucky Fried Chicken or I can cook rice and peas and chicken if I want.

He taught me a secret prayer and every time I said it I saw what happened. Sometimes I am in shock, so much so that I have goosebumps that cover my body. He told me that if I had met him while I was at college age he would see to it that I became a doctor or a bank manager. I believe him because he has attempted to help me get a job at the bank, but I told him that I don’t even have one subject. Now he is trying to teach me bookkeeping, accounts, mathematics and English language, but I don’t think I can manage that level of education.

When the earthquake shook, I saw him and held on to his hand and the shaking stopped immediately. He told me that something is about to shut the world down and then came COVID-19. To me, he is not an ordinary man. He does not talk to people easily, and he does not have friends. He only studies and works and makes big plans and speaks about the need for a better world. I am better in every way since I met him.

The only thing I am disappointed with is that this man is unsatisfied with my ambitions. I refuse to become a regular professional like a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or not even a bank manager, and he is sad about that. So he said he will give me a house, car, money, security guard at my gate, but he wants to marry an educated professional woman because his sisters are educated professionals, and he said he can’t disappoint them.

I noticed, too, something about him which I don’t want him to know and

I will never tell him, and that’s that.

Whenever I touch him money just turn up in my hand very easily, but he always tells me not to touch him.

Pastor, to tell you the truth, I want this man but my ambition is to sell at the market, not to work in a bank.

He is encouraging when it comes to doing good, decent and honest things. He is clean and decent, and I value him very highly. On top of all the good qualities, he also has a long, big and sweet penis. I am convinced that he is sent straight from heaven to this world because he sure saved my life on two occasions. He does not talk to people so no one knows his abilities.

He gave me a place to live already but he is going to buy me another house to rent out. He recently suggested that I be good and help him find a good, decent and ambitious woman. But any woman who is going to get that luck will have to pay me millions to lose him.

M.S.

Dear M.S.,

I understand that young people call women like you ‘yam head’. I have been writing the Dear Pastor column for many years and I do enjoy my job, but when I read such nonsense from a woman, I cannot help but think that you have lied so much that you do not know that you make yourself a fool.

Do you really expect me to believe that your man is so powerful that he can get whatever he wants you to have? Girl, why you so lie? You make the Devil ashamed of you.

What you have written is the type of man you would like to have but such a man does not exist. You should learn to talk the truth.

The man wants you to become a bank manager but you prefer to sell in the market. Now you are preparing to give him up for a few million dollars. Girl, yuh too lie.

Pastor.