Married friend wants to sleep with me

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff, and I trust that you are in good health. I have a problem with a woman who is supposed to be my friend.

We were once lovers but we broke off the relationship years ago. I got married and I am trying to live a Christian life with my family.

About a year after I got married, I heard that she got married too. Since we had just a friendship, I was happy that everything was going well for her. She is unable to get pregnant. She did a surgical procedure that enables her to have children.

We were having a conversation and she suggested that she wanted to have my baby, and if she got pregnant by me, she would not tell me; she would just give the baby to her husband. I ran away from her because I knew she meant every word she said.

I am trying to be faithful to God and to my wife. I told her that I dreamt that she was performing oral sex on me and she said that she would like to make my dreams come true.

I do not want to fall into her trap because I would not want another man raising my child. So I told her no. I told her to collect the result of her procedure and take it to her doctor.

I do hope all is well for her to get pregnant and that she would allow her husband to get her pregnant. Thanks in advance for your reply.

J.M.

Dear J.M.,

If you meant what you said about not wanting to be intimate with this woman any more, why did you tell her that you dreamt that both of you were having oral sex, and that she was the one doing it to you?

Don’t you think that if you were serious about pleasing God and being true to your wife, you should have kept the conversation between you and this woman clean?

It is because of what you said to her why she responded by telling you that she would be happy to make your dreams come true.

That type of conversation with this woman would have caused her to believe that you would have been happy to have a fling with her again.

So you should not write and give the impression that this is a bad married woman and you wish to be squeaky clean. You know the struggles this woman has in becoming pregnant and you are very much aware that she still loves you, and if you are interested she would break her vows and become intimate with you. So you should not do or say anything that would put thoughts in this woman’s mind that you would be quite willing to bed her.

As a Christian gentleman, pray for this woman, and whenever you talk to her again, tell her you are sorry for mentioning that dream you had about oral sex. Assure her of your prayers.

Pastor.