Called my husband and his girlfriend answered

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I have a six-month-old baby. My husband and I were friends for one year.

He said he loved me greatly and he believed that it was time for us to tie the knot. I had a boyfriend and he kept calling me and begging me to forgive him for cheating on me.

I used to tell my new guy about him and he said that he would tell this guy to get off my back. But I told him no.

I said that because the relationship that we were having at the time was still young and I did not love him as much as the other guy.

But I was careless and he got me pregnant. So we planned our wedding quickly and we got married.

As soon as we got married, I saw another side of this man. He would lie and come in late and he would say that he was at work when he was not.

HE SAID IT WAS A JOKE

One day, I called him and he should have been at work. I was just checking up on him, nothing more, just to find out how his day was going.

When I called the number, it was about

12:30 p.m. A woman answered and when I asked for him, she said he was in the bathroom.

I asked her who she was and she said that she was his girlfriend. She asked who

I was and I said his wife. She said “wife” and I said “yes”.

Then she said he did not tell her that he was married. I hung up. In about five minutes, I called again and my husband answered. I asked him what was going on and who the woman was. He said she was only joking. I have one brother and he told me that he would check out the matter for me.

After about three months, my brother told me that the woman who answered my husband’s phone was his babymother. He gave me her address but warned me not to cause any trouble.

I cried and cried and cried. My biggest regret is that I married this man and have a child by him. I love my child but I can’t stand the cheating.

I cannot forgive him for what he has done. My brother and my mother are telling me to forgive him, to give him another chance.

I had stopped having protected sex with him and that’s how I got pregnant. Now, I don’t have sex with him and he said that I am pushing him further to his babymother. I am so angry.

I am asking you for your advice. The house we are living in belongs to my father. My father did not marry my mother. My husband has nothing in this house.

My brother is very disappointed in him because my brother is very close to me and does not like to see me cry. Please give me your comments.

P.S.

Dear P.S.,

This is a decision that you would have to make, whether you would forgive your husband and stay with him or let him go. He has deceived you and that is sad indeed. He has not behaved as a responsible man. You have been a good wife to him. He is a liar. If you are contemplating divorcing him, and you seem to be thinking that way, please discuss this matter with a family counsellor. In fact, the both of you should consider going to counselling together.

It is not going to be easy for you to forgive him but if you love him, it is not impossible. But I repeat, that is a decision you would have to make.

You are an intelligent woman and you will have to decide whether you will be able to trust this man and regain confidence in him. I wish you well.

Pastor