Forced to sleep with my mother’s friend

Dear Pastor

I am 19 years old and I have something resting on my mind that I want to tell you. I grew up in a home living with my mother and my grandmother. My mother was married to my father, but the marriage was not successful as my father became unfaithful to her. My mother and my grandmother bought a house together and I lived with them. My mother used to say that my grandmother has spoiled me because when she was not at home, my grandmother allowed me to have my way. I could not do anything wrong for my grandmother. But my mother used to strap me when I went out of the way.

Pastor, what is on my mind to talk to you about is not anything nice. My mother has a friend; she is in her late 40s, and believe it or not, this woman loves me.

She always told my mother that she loves her son, but they always laugh about it. As I grew older I discovered that this woman really meant what she said. When I was 18, she told me that I was now an adult so my mother could not choose for me, but she was giving me another year. I never answered her. She said it to me again, and I told her that I have a girlfriend and she is a big woman for me. She said little axe can fall big tree.

This woman is always giving me money. The last thing I got from her was a laptop for Christmas. She called me and told me that she had a gift for me so I should come for it. I needed a laptop so I went over. When I arrived, she was in a shorts and a top. I sat at the table. She sat very close to me and I could see her bare breasts. She wanted to know if I loved the laptop. I asked her why did she buy such an expensive laptop and she said it was because she loves me and she wanted me to get the best. My mother called and asked where I was and I lied to my mother and told her that I was with some of my friends. But I was with her. About an hour after, I called my mother and told her that we were having a little party so I might not come home. She told me to careful.

This woman forced me to have sex with her. I did it twice for the night and fell asleep. She said that she has not had sex for two years and what I did was what she wanted. The next day I went home about midday, but I could not take the laptop. I went back to this woman’s house in the evening and left early. But before I left, I had to have sex with her again. I never wanted to do so, but I had to because she locked the door.

I feel so guilty, because I have a girlfriend. She and I are the same age, and we plan to go back to school, but this woman wants me to leave my girlfriend. She does not want me to let my mother know that we are playing around. I like her, but I am worried because I am spending too much time with her, and my girlfriend is asking me why is my cell phone off when she calls me.

This woman

Dear R.D.,

I am suggesting strongly that you end the relationship with this woman. I also want to tell you that many older women have led young men in your age group astray. When she told your mother and grandmother that she loves you, she meant it. They took it as a joke, and you probably thought she was crazy. But she wasn’t joking and she surely was not crazy.

You went over to her house at her invitation. She beseeched you to stay with her, and you foolishly did so without realising that you were playing with your life. To cut a long story short, you had sex with this woman, who is most likely the same age with your mother.

Older women are excited about having young men as their lovers. I have said that before, and I will also add that young men like you are excited about going to bed with much older women. I will also add that any day you try to leave this woman, it is likely that she will lie on you and say that you ‘put questions’ to her. But you need not fear what she would say, get out of this relationship.

Do not go back to this woman’s house. Do not take any money from her. It is not a good relationship. Keep the relationship going with your girlfriend. I hope you will accept my suggestion. Even if she offers to assist you to go university, do not accept her offer. Take loans from the Students’ Loan Bureau. Keep out of trouble. Your mother’s friend is a bad woman.

Pastor