Church brother won’t take no for an answer

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. I wrote to you when I was in high school. You encouraged me to concentrate on my schoolwork. I am now a school teacher and I am able to do my bit in counselling others.

I have a challenge and I want to share it with you. I attend a certain church and there is a young man there who likes me and the people there think he is the ideal guy for me, but I don’t like him. In fact, I can’t stand him. I told him that he is wasting his time trying to get my love.

The man I love does not go to church and that is the only fault I see in him. He is also 10 years older than I am but that is not a bother to me because I like older men.

This guy in my church has nothing to offer. He doesn’t have a good job and he does not speak well. He told my mother how much he loves me and my mother takes that and mocks me. Pastor, he works on lawns so my mother says we will always have our lawn cut. Imagine, I have my first degree and all I can find in life as a partner is one who cuts lawns?

Mark you, I am not discriminating, but all my friends will wonder how come I am so unfortunate to have such a man after spending so much time studying and graduating with honours.

I am tired to tell this man that he should look for somebody on his own level but he is not getting the message. He said he is going to go to the pastor to get him to talk to me.

But if he does so I would not even say hello to him when I see him at church. That would drive me much faster to go with the man who is not a Christian, because he is the one I love.

Whenever I am with him, I do not feel embarrassed at all. I can’t find myself going out with this church brother because he does not have much sense. Please give me your advice.

F.T.

Dear F.T.,

What I would suggest is that you speak to the pastor before this man gets to him. Tell him that the brother loves you but you are not interested in him, and you have told him so but he continues to torture you by telling you how much he loves you. Therefore, you are kindly asking him to talk to the brother and to tell him to kindly back off.

Attending the church does not necessarily mean that he has to marry a church sister. You don’t have to mention anything about the man that you say that you love. That is your business and you know what the stance of the church is already.

The relationship with you and this other man is in its infancy and you do not know whether or not he will commit himself to the Lord in the days ahead. But right now, your big challenge is this church brother who is in love with you but you are not in love with him.

Your mother sees the friendship of this church brother as a joke. That is why she mocks you about having her lawn cut regularly. I am not here to tell you what you should do with this gardener, but I do know that he should learn to keep himself quiet and not to harass you.

You have already told him that you are not interested so he should learn to listen. And that is how I see it.

Pastor