I faked heart attack to keep two girls
Mi say mi have a buss a di back a mi head, and every time, mi feel di scar it remind mi not to take woman fi idiot.
Mi did live with mi babymother, but mi did want back mi exgirlfriend, so when she start show mi back a good vibes, mi jus tek me chance. Anyway, both a dem say dem nah work with the next one, so mi brethren tell mi say mi must tell di side one say mi left mi babymother cuz mi babymother nah guh leave mi, nuh matter what. Mi tell di lie and it work out well fi a while. Mi babymother, *Shan, know ‘bout *Pat, but Pat never know; bout har. Well, it never take long fi Pat find out and she get mad and say mi must make a decision.
A ‘BRILLIANT’ IDEA
Mi start think and come up with a brilliant idea. Mi call mi doctor brethren and tell him say mi a guh fake a heart attack and him must cover fi mi, so di day mi go to him office and him call both woman and tell dem say dem need to come to the office because mi sick bad. Him tell dem say mi have a mild heart attack and is because of the intense stress that I am under.
Mi buss out a bawl and tell dem say mi love both a dem and mi nuh wah dead. STAR, mi shoulda get an Oscar Award, especially after mi start talk about making a will, and a tell dem seh dem must both unite and take care a mi kids in case mi pass off. Dem catch dem coward and say dem nuh waah mi dead, so dem will live in peace.
Mi say mi glad bag buss when mi hear dat. That same week, both a dem give me a threesome and mi feel good to know say mi plan work. Mi fren dem see mi as di big man. About seven months later, mi and mi doctor fren a text back and we a laugh and a say wi can’t believe seh di plan work.
STAR, yuh know seh mi make di mistake and send Shan di message instead a mi fren? Dem time deh WhatsApp never have di delete option, and fi some reason, mi send di message and never realise.
Mi just hear she call mi in di bedroom and when mi go in, mi feel summen lick mi in the head and mi nuh memba nutten more until mi feel cold water a dash in mi face. Long story short, mi lose both woman the same day, and mi end up have to go back to the same doctor fren to make him stitch up mi head back whe Shan buss up with bokkle.