Don’t think I got my girlfriend pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old man and my girlfriend is 18 years old and she is pregnant. She told her mother that the child is mine. I told my mother that I don’t believe that the child is mine because we only had sex twice and I used a condom. Her mother went to see my parents and told them that I got her daughter pregnant. My parents asked me if I was responsible for that, so I told my father that I used a condom. My father asked me if I was sure, so I explained to him that the night we had sex we started without the condom then we stopped and I put on the condom and continued, so I didn’t discharge in her. My girlfriend’s mother is blaming me for everything and she said after my girlfriend has the baby, my parents should take the child because she wants her daughter to go back to school and she doesn’t want to see me around her daughter at all. Pastor, my girlfriend and I have been friends for more than one year. I have not gone back to her yard but it was at her yard that we had sex. My father told me that I should not have anything bad to say about my girlfriend’s mother because she is angry. My mother tried to talk to her and told her that we are young people and that young people make mistakes. But she told my parents that they should try to control me and it was because I was out of control why I got her daughter pregnant. I still don’t believe that I got her pregnant because we used the condom.

R.

Dear R.,

I hope by now your girlfriend’s mother has calmed down. She feels disappointed that her daughter has become pregnant and the daughter says that you are responsible for her pregnancy. Now you claim that you used the condom both times you had sex with your girlfriend, but on the first occasion you started to have sex and you were not wearing the condom, but you stopped and put it on. Therefore you are not absolutely sure that you are not the father. A DNA test can settle this matter after the girl has given birth. Your parents, I am sure, would try their best to try and help this young girl and help you to support the child if you are indeed the father. I hope that you will not abandon this girl because of the unfortunate remarks her mother made about you. You are not a saint and neither is this girl. If you have to see your girlfriend, make sure that she comes to see you at your parents’ home and I wish the both of you well.

Pastor